By Alyssa Charriez
”Why don’t you just leave?”
This seems to be the first question that friends or family ask when you and your significant other face a problem.
Our first instinct is to ask them, “Have you ever been in love”? In most cases, they answer this question with “yes,” but saying that it was nothing like that.
Or maybe that’s just the people I know. So I always have to go deeper than the question itself.
The truth is this: No relationship is perfect. You will always have problems, fights, or even some slightest form of inconvenience, no matter what.
No relationship is a fairy tale, regardless of how strongly romantic comedies are trying to convince us of this. Real relationships aren’t based on Netflix movies or TV shows.
It’s real life, and it will be hard.
There will be times that you will sit and think that you should just leave. If you decide to leave because you don’t want to fight for your love anymore, then you aren’t really in love.
What you’re feeling is just lust. You crave the physical affection, benefits, relationship label, and everything else that a relationship gives. You can lust after someone and think that you are in love when, in reality, you are not.
When you’re in love, there is nothing that can change how you view your significant other. No matter what flaws or imperfections they come with, your feelings toward this person won’t change.
When you leave the one you love, you feel excruciating pain. It’s not emotional pain that you experience after a breakup. Instead, it’s physical pain. Not abuse, but intense physical aching.
When I first met the love of my life, I felt this hot sensation filling my entire body. I was so overwhelmed with pure bliss and joy that I couldn’t form any words.
Throughout the years, the love grew stronger and stronger. When the devastating breakup happened, all I felt was physical pain.
My chest was hurting, and I could no longer breathe. I felt an overwhelming sadness that just consumed me.
Months later, I would try to date in an attempt to recreate the same feelings I felt with him. But it didn’t work.
I didn’t just crave physical intimacy, I craved him. The smell of his cologne, the way he kissed me, the feeling of his hugs, the way his arms fell around me so naturally when during sleep.
There were no hugs, kisses, smells, or even the cologne scents that filled me with such joy and bliss as he could.
Love is your souls merging into one and realizing that this is who you were meant to find all along. You become one and learn to live together for the rest of your lives.
Love is a soul connection that doesn’t just happen overnight. It’s based on growing together with the person who helps you become who you’re meant to be.
“Why don’t you just leave” isn’t hard for me to answer. It isn’t even a question I contemplate.
Why? Because when you are in love, leaving when things get hard is not an option.
It isn’t even a thought. It’s simply impossible.
Alyssa Charriez is a college student and writer whose work focuses on relationships, mental health, and self-esteem topics. For more of her content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.
This article was originally published at Unwritten . Reprinted with permission from the author.