Whether you believe it or not, the thought behind your boyfriend’s holiday gifts says a lot about your relationship.
So if you’re dying to know where you stand with your man, look no further than the package he wraps for you this Christmas. Learning how to decode his gift-giving will tell you all you need to know — no need to be a mind reader to know what’s in his heart and mind this Christmas.
Whether it’s a “practical” gift or an ultra-romantic one, he’s trying to tell you something. Are you listening?
Pearl Necklace or Pearl Earrings
A gift of pearls suggests your guy is very traditional. While he may not be ready to take your relationship to the next level, he is letting you know that when he does, it will be with you.
Pearls say that he has good intentions, he values you as his girlfriend — as well as the time you spend together.
Depending on how elaborate the heart necklace is, this could be anything from a lovely sentimental gift to a generic “we’ve just been dating for a few months and I didn’t know what to do” type of gift.
This isn’t to suggest a heart necklace can’t be a really exciting present! It’s truly a nice gesture, but how to decode the meaning depends on just how nice and how many diamonds it has.
It can be totally simple or over-the-top generous. If it’s plain and you have been dating for a long time, don’t complain: he’s still buying you jewelry! If you have been dating a year or two, and it’s exquisite, it’s a sure sign he thinks you’re as beautiful and perfect as the necklace.
As with the heart necklace, this has the potential to be a very safe and lovely gift choice. I always suggest a piece of jewelry as a present, but diamond earrings can be problematic in a relationship like no other gift. If you have been dating your guy for only a year or two, this is a fabulous gift.
If you have been dating for 5 years, and he gives you diamond earrings, this speaks volumes.
Consider it an appeasement gift — because he isn’t popping the question anytime soon. The exception is if this is a prelude to a New Year’s proposal or Valentine’s day at most; you will already feel in your heart you are on solid ground. Anything shy of that says you need to be planning your exit strategy because this ear shimmer translates into you aren’t getting the one big, blinding rock on your left hand anytime soon.
Sexy Red Lingerie
The sexy red negligee is a gift for him. It tells you all he’s thinking of is himself, and you don’t figure into something long-term… unless the naughty lingerie is accompanied by some other thoughtful gifts.
Don’t waste your time on this jerk because you’re last on his mind.
It probably means he shows up late to dates, and most likely doesn’t spend as much time with you as his guy friends. Accept the gift graciously, and let’s hope you didn’t spend too much on him.
Perfume and Chocolates
Once again, this is a traditional guy and he probably hasn’t been dating you very long. He thinks of you and wants to pursue the relationship.
This gift is a safe bet in that it won’t be too over-the-top to scare you off early on in the relationship, but can still be thoughtful enough to show that he cares and isn’t cheap.
Diamond Engagement Ring
When a guy gives you a ring at the holidays, it says a few things about him.
You might not like the one thing it says about you though! If he is bringing you home to meet the family at the holidays, it might be that an engagement with the entire family celebrating is very special to him.
Let’s hope this is the case. Lots of times, an engagement ring at the holidays means he is just bowing to your demands for a commitment.
Whether you are articulating those feelings to him, or he is just feeling the pressure, this could be the awful truth or the result of an ultimatum and pressure from you. Let’s hope it’s the option where family is celebrating with you!
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Gift Cards, Alarm Clocks, and Other “Practical” Stuff
Always accept a gift graciously. I once received an alarm clock from a guy, and I was so upset that I couldn’t bring myself to open it.
It was early on in the relationship, but I think all it meant was he was a lousy gift giver. If someone gives you a gift card, and it’s presented nicely — as opposed to off the grocery store checkout line, that can still be a great present! If the gift fits you like a glove, or you needed gloves and it’s a nice pair, then perfect.
Always examine the thought behind the gift. Did it come from the right place, and did he put his heart into it? You will have your answer.
Regardless of what your man gifts you, always be gracious and kind towards his efforts.
Susan Trombetti is a writer and has been seen on Fox, ABC, NBC, ABC, Cosmopolitan, Shape, and more. Follow her on Twitter.