These days, finding a single man who has his life together (and isn’t a total jerk) is like finding a bag of Doritos filled all the way to the top. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s magical.
Don’t get me wrong, having your life together is pretty hard and a lot of people struggle to get on their feet after college.
Some men might still live with their parents and some might be working that dead-end job they’ve been working at for 2-3 years because their boss promised to make them a manager.
Usually, the dating scene is filled with those guys who are working that part-time at Burger King and have been in school for five years with no real end in sight.
Or they’ve just moved back in with their parents because they took a year-long sabbatical to find themselves in the Grand Canyon and came back only to realize that finding a job is hard when you’ve had no experience.
Cue the eye roll.
It’s not that we don’t get that life is hard.
Stuff happens and not everybody is perfect.
But it’s not like we’re asking men to have a huge bank account, an expensive car, AND well-chiseled abs. We know that’s not realistic (but if you are this man and you’re reading this feel free to shoot me an email).
But if we can have our sh*t together, so can you.
We expect the bare minimum so if you can’t reach that, don’t join the dating scene. It doesn’t take much to be able to get into a relationship.
So take this advice and please adjust your life accordingly: don’t start trying to date independent women if you are not independent yourself.
You need to at least be able to take care of yourself without someone else’s help, and we don’t mean just in a financial sense.
We’re not looking to be your moms or your caretakers. We don’t want to fix you. We don’t want to save you.
Relationships shouldn’t be an escape from your problems or a way to distract yourself from what you need to change.
Take a beat, sit a few out and get your sh*t together.
Women aren’t there to be your therapists or help you with your problems, those problems are your own.
If you have too many, maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Get yourself in touch with a professional, and once you do and you get it all figured out, I can pretty much guarantee you that women will be more than happy to date you.
Emily Blackwood is an editor and writer who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between. You can follow her on Instagram or on her website.