Love doesn’t mean one thing to every person. We try to differentiate the various kinds of love so we can have better a better understanding of it.
In an article, writer Jessica Borg has come up with what she feels are the five types of love. Interestingly, each type of love starts with an “I.” I don’t know if she chose these “I” words deliberately to show that, in order for there to be love, there must be an “I” to experience it, or if it was a random decision.
Here are the five types of love.
1. Innate love
Borg writes, “This is the love we are born into; it is the look in a mother’s eyes as she swaddles her child in blankets weaved in hopes for the future.”
This kind of love is instinctual, intrinsic, and the kind of love we’re born with for our mothers, fathers and families. We don’t need to be taught how to love innately; it’s just there. The trick is not to lose that innate love along the way and not to lose hope that we will find more of it in our lives.
2. Intricate love
This kind of love can be simple or complex, but it is a love that we create ourselves and one that grows.
Borg writes, “This love is forged out of the fondest friendships; it is the friend holding her best friend’s hand at her father’s funeral.” Intricate love is doing for others when you have nothing to gain except good feelings.
3. Idealized love
This is the love we grow up thinking that we want — the love of fairy tales and fantasies. But it’s not a real kind of love and will not pass any test of merit. This kind of love can be addictive and obsessive, but is ultimately fleeting.
“This love is merciless in its addictiveness; it is the teenage girls’ dependency on the boy she thinks is her other half,” Borg says.
4. Irrevocable love
This is the love that’s never taken rescinded or reduced — it continues on and grows stronger with time. We all want this kind of love, though we don’t always get it.
“This is the love that will never grow old; it is the old man looking at his wife in their old age, thinking only of the laughter and happiness that carved the lines on her face,” Borg says poetically.
5. Individualized love
For the fifth type of love, Borg has no title and says, “And then my darling there is a love like ours. The kind of love that only you and I will ever know.”
I’m calling it “individualized love” because no matter what kind of love we have, it is still unique to us. We all have a very own type of love that can’t be duplicated or mimicked and ultimately is contained only in our very own hearts.