Love can be confusing and painful. It sometimes takes all of our emotions and efforts without any guarantee that it’s going to work out. So we go into relationships with our hearts full and hope that this time, we’ve found the one. The one we can come home to after the end of the day. The one we can trust and invest our time in.
Because finding someone who magically is ready to fall in love at the exact same time we are is almost as hard as getting a straight flush on a Vegas poker table for 10 million dollars.
Still, there are ways when dating to know if we’re finding the one we’re meant to be with:
1. Date someone who doesn’t make you question who you are.
We’re constantly shown images of how we can look better, act cooler, and seem more together. We’re actively shown that for some reason no matter what we do we’re never going to be good enough.
Date someone who doesn’t make you feel like you need to change. Date someone who sees the little things about you and loves them. Date someone who makes you realize that you are is enough as you are.
2. Date someone who shows up for you.
We all have bad days. We all have moments when we’re less than stellar. We all have those points when we want to throw in the towel and just crawl back into bed.
Date someone who’s there on those really bad days. Date someone who comes over with ice cream and lets you vent about it. Date someone who just is there when you need them.
3. Date someone who lets you be still.
Everything in life is moving at a constant pace and as we get older it almost seems like things go even faster. One day you’re in college just studying medical theories and it feels like the next, you’re actually a doctor. Life doesn’t stop even when you really, really wish it would.
Date someone who allows you to just sit and catch up with yourself. Date someone who allows for those quiet times and understands it’s for recharging. Date someone who can sit with you in comfortable silence and just hold your hand.
4. Date someone who makes you feel like you’re not crazy.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been labeled as crazy. Probably all of us. But crazy is subjective. One person’s definition of crazy doesn’t equal another’s. You could have been labeled as crazy for something that’s actually totally normal. But because someone else didn’t return the same feelings; BOOM crazy.
Date someone who wants your version of ‘crazy.’ Date someone who will let you say whatever and doesn’t judge you for it.
5. Date someone you can trust.
It’s hard with the use of dating apps and the constant fear of missing out to know if your partner is in it for the long run with you. It’s because everything is so available these days, that if you’re constantly looking for the next best thing, then chances are you could find it very easily.
Date someone you know is there for you. Date someone who makes trust seem like it’s second nature. Date someone who never makes you wonder if they’re looking for something better because for them there’s nothing better than you.
6. Date someone who feels like home.
You know that warm feeling you get in your chest when you walk through the door after a long day. The feeling of just pure and utter joy of being able to get into your PJs and watch whatever you want on Netflix. It’s a feeling of security that you get because you’re in your space and it has all of your things.
Date someone like that. Date someone who feels like a refuge after a very long day. Date someone who’s going to give you the same security.
Because if you date someone like that, you’ll never place your heart in the wrong hands.
Alex Brown writes about love, mental health, and wanderlust… three things she studies extensively. Her first book came out in September 2016 and her second book that focuses on Mental Health and Relationships was released in August 2017. Check out more of her writing.
This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.