By Jordan Gray
If you want to strengthen your relationship, pull up a seat with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife and pledge to make these 23 promises to one another.
(If you’re old school, you can even print out two copies you both can sign.)
23 Relationship Promises to Make to Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Dear (insert the name of your partner),
1. I promise to be gentle with you and your heart.
2. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart.
3. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary to do so.
4. I promise to put effort into learning how you most like to be listened to and then listen to you in that way as often as I can.
5. I promise to love and support you when you need me to, and to lovingly push and encourage you when you need me to do that instead.
6. I promise that I will keep myself as emotionally fulfilled as possible in my own life, so that I will be able to show up as my best self for you and for our relationship.
7. I promise to be aware of and to own my emotional triggers, and to never hold you responsible for my emotional response to things.
8. I promise to not waste precious time or energy worrying about who to place blame on. Doing that gets us nowhere and only distracts from our collective goal of coming back to a place of love and connection.
9. I acknowledge that you are not your parents and I am not my parents, and that although we likely have some residual habits that they passed on to us, we can choose a new way if their way doesn’t work for us.
10. I promise to assume that you have the best of intentions.
11. I promise to assume that you are always coming from a place of love.
12. I promise to love and accept every side of you and all of your emotions, moods and insecurities.
13. I promise to support you in your career, hobbies, passions and anything else that makes you happy.
14. I promise to continually put effort into our relationship.
15. I promise to make distractions-free connection time together a priority on a regular basis.
16. I promise to have a one-on-one date nights with you at least once every month, no matter how busy or stressful life becomes.
17. I promise to always be open to talking about our sex life, no matter how challenging or awkward certain conversations might be to have.
18. I promise to always look for how you might be hurting in the moments when you seem to be pushing me away.
19. I promise to never hold the relationship hostage. I will never say “Then why are we even doing this?” or threaten our partnership in any way.
20. I promise to always cherish our relationship and celebrate it as the safe container for growth that it is.
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21. I promise to always make you feel as safe, comfortable and seen as possible.
22. Regarding all of the aforementioned statements, I acknowledge that when I say “never” or “always.” I will inevitably make mistakes. I am human, and I am not perfect. But I promise to always do my best and to promptly acknowledge when I have messed up.
23. And above all else, I promise to love you.
Jordan Gray is a relationship coach who helps people remove emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships.
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project . Reprinted with permission from the author.