It’s Christmas time and you have just started dating someone new. You should feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but instead, you’re overthinking.
The issue? Whether or not you should get your new boyfriend or girlfriend a Christmas gift. The relationship is so new and you don’t want to scare them off with a Christmas gift.
Should I get my boyfriend or girlfriend a Christmas present?
All these thoughts and questions can really put a damper on the Christmas season, not to mention your blossoming relationship. Luckily for you though, there is one helpful question to ask yourself if you aren’t sure.
If you aren’t sure if you should get the person you just started dating a gift, ask yourself this: Do I really want to give them a Christmas present?
Does the idea of buying them a gift make you smile or feel good thinking about it? If you answered yes, what you should do is pretty straightforward and you can start thinking about what you want to get them.
If you answered no, then you can stop right here. No worries; the majority of men and women won’t be bothered about whether or not you give them a gift or not in the early stages of dating.
And if at some point if you change your mind, by all means keep reading to determine what gift you should get.
If the answer wasn’t a clear yes or no, you can ask yourself another question to help you gain some clarity.
If you give your boyfriend or girlfriend a gift and they don’t get me one, will you be cool with that, or will I feel awkward and hold it against them?
And what about if they get something for you and you don’t get something for them?
Either way, it could be an awkward situation.
People who are newly dating are notorious for doing things in order to elicit a certain response from their love interest. If we do this for them, we think, then they will take the hint and do this for us as well.
But in reality, buying someone a gift does very little to help them understand what it is you want from them.
So again, it’s important to ask yourself how you will feel if you get them something and they don’t get something for you. If you can honestly say to yourself, “Yes, I can give them a gift and not secretly (or not-so-secretly) hold it against them if they don’t reciprocate,” then absolutely, you should get them a gift for Christmas.
What should I get my boyfriend or girlfriend for Christmas?
If you do decide to buy your new boyfriend or girlfriend a Christmas gift, your head may also be filled with thoughts of what to get them.
It’s important to remember that most people aren’t looking for the “perfect” partner, despite what may some say, and most people also aren’t expecting to receive a “perfect” gift. In fact, it makes a lot of people super uncomfortable when someone they just started dating overdoes it present-wise or spends too much money on them, especially if you aren’t exclusive yet.
So do both of you a favor and don’t over think this one.
If you’ve only been dating a couple of weeks, keep it small and thoughtful, though not super sentimental.
If you’ve been dating longer, keep the gift in proportion to where you still feel comfortable (and not upset if they don’t reciprocate).
Also, I personally like the idea of giving something representative of the fun that you’re having together, or something that shows you pay attention to what interests them.
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Here are some fun gifts for him if you are falling short on ideas this holiday season:
- Movie Tickets to the next Action Adventure Flick.
- If you feel like splurging; Concert Tickets for a favorite band of his or a comedy show. (Bonus: you get to spend an evening together:)
- You could give him something like a nice bar of chocolate with an attached note that says: “Psst … Don’t tell anyone, but I think I might like you a little ;-)”
- Hot Cocoa with Peppermint sticks. Yum, and very difficult to go wrong with.
Also, try to stay away from these gift-giving mistakes I have made in the past (and am still shaking my head about years later):
- Don’t try to show how cool you are with him looking at other women by gifting him with a ‘Sports Illustrated’ calendar.
- Don’t show how gifting-clueless you are by giving him a ‘Best Buy’ gift card or any other retail gift certificate.
(Yes, I actually did these things. I want to crawl under my blankie now.)
Finally, if you can’t come up with something … Again, no worries.
Especially early in dating, most people are not concerned with whether or not you get them a gift.
And it’s actually better to err on the side of no gift than a thoughtless or crappy gift.
Jenn Burton is a writer, host of the Single Smart Female podcast and Romantic Fairy Godmomma for Smart Successful Single Women all around the world.