There has been much discussion recently about soul-based relationships. During this time of expanding consciousness on planet Earth, relationships have taken on new meaning and purpose.
Old relationship models centered on outdated, transactional gender roles are out (thankfully!) while conscious relationships that honor each individual’s soul are very much in.
These relationships allow us to connect at deeper levels that spark our innermost creativity, passion, and truth.
What exactly is a soul-based relationship and how can we attract the person who is our soulmate?
Modern, spiritually-minded people often embrace the idea that we actually have many soulmates or members of our soul family.
From an energetic perspective (the idea that “everything is energy”), these are souls that resonate most closely with our own — emitting an energetic frequency that is similar to ours. When we meet our soulmate, we often have the intuitive feeling of being on the same “wavelength”, understood and seen at the deepest level.
Spiritual teachings about soulmates are heartwarming and wonderful, with the idea that we exist eternally, sharing unconditional love and support with these members of our soul family.
Accounts of near-death experiences as well as memories of the “afterlife” accessed through hypnosis, often include the sense of returning to one’s soul family after death with the feeling of absolute welcome and complete, unconditional love.
Many who embrace the idea of reincarnation believe that soulmates live many lives together. Indeed, past life memories recalled through hypnosis often include the same members of a soul family returning to play different roles in each other’s lives over many lifetimes.
So is there any truth to the concept that we each have one true Soulmate, with a capital “S”, that central member of our soul family who is our perfect match?
Among modern and ancient spiritual teachings, there is a belief that each soul has an energetic twin, often referred to as a Twin Soul or Twin Flame. Rather than resonating at similar frequencies, Twin Souls resonate at the exact same frequency — and the experience of “meeting” your Twin Soul is unique.
Since Twin Souls are perfect mirrors for each other, this is seen as a sacred relationship that prompts much spiritual growth as your Twin literally awakens you to a deeper understanding of your true self and of your eternal connection with each other.
Because of this, the Twin Soul relationship can feel much more intense on many levels than other soulmate relationships.
The key to finding a soulmate relationship, whether it be your Twin Soul or another member of your soul family, lies in being very true to yourself, loving yourself deeply, and listening to the desires of your soul.
Since our soulmates recognize and love our true selves, knowing how to meet your soulmate and attract them is really about learning how to flirt from your soul!
Here are a few pointers on how to flirt from your soul:
1. Be true to yourself
As the famous saying says, “To thine own self, be true.”
A soulmate connection is one that exists at the deepest level and honors the truth within each individual. Your soulmate will be naturally attracted to the real you, so put aside any masks you might be wearing or roles you think you need to play that do not reflect your truth.
Go within and listen to your heart’s deepest desires. Then, allow these to be expressed through your words and actions. Forget about the latest fashion trends or dating advice. Be true to the beautiful uniqueness that is you, for that is the spark your soulmate will recognize.
A soulmate will be naturally drawn to the idiosyncrasies and characteristics that set you apart from the crowd. So go ahead and wear that outfit you love yourself in (even though your ex hated it), and talk about the movies that make you cry, the music you dance to in the shower, and the dreams that others might scoff at.
Anything that sparks your soul’s joy will attract soulmates to you as they recognize and want to share in your happiness.
2. Be honest with yourself and your soulmate
In order to be true to yourself, you must first be honest about what your soul truly desires. A soulmate relationship is based on the deepest values and longings of our souls, especially the desire to give and receive unconditional love.
So be honest about what you want in a relationship rather than trying to model the relationships you see around you.
Do you long for a partner you can travel with and explore exotic destinations? Is your soul nurtured by quiet time at home or do you love going to parties (or a little of both)? What makes you feel loved and cherished? What makes your heart and soul sing?
By being honest and true to these desires as you connect with others, you are indeed flirting from your soul — and more likely to attract a soulmate in the process.
3. Listen to the silence
Remember that silence is golden.
It is important to remember that our soulmate connections are primarily energetic in nature. This means that communicating with our soulmates and attracting them to us involves deep, unspoken ways of sharing and interacting. Your soulmate will recognize you intuitively — and you’ll recognize him.
Pay attention to the shy guy in your biology class whose eyes have that particular sparkle that only you seem to notice. There is truth to the old saying that the eyes are the windows to the soul — and soulmates often recognize each other in the unique expressiveness their eyes convey.
Most of us have had the experience of communicating deeply with another through only a glance or meeting someone for the first time and feeling that their eyes are speaking to you or recognizing you on a deeper level.
Body language, subtle gestures, and facial expressions are other important means through which soulmates communicate without using words.
Related Stories From YourTango:
And when you are with a soulmate, there is often that unmistakable sense of understanding each other beyond what words can convey, of shared past experiences (even with someone you are meeting for the first time!), or of existing in your own world together, even when surrounded by others.
So the next time you go to a party, a class, or hang out with a group of friends and acquaintances, take a few moments to breathe and connect with your soul.
Allow yourself to be silent and to sense the connections you may intuitively feel. Make eye contact with the shy guy who keeps glancing your way. Listen to all that is being said when no words are spoken.
4. Trust the process
All soulmate relationships are, by definition, based on a level of unconditional love and trust that truly is “out of this world.” Many who embrace the idea of soul families believe that we actually plan together or create “soul contracts”, as souls before incarnating in physical bodies.
It is truly a wonderful concept to think that you and other beloved souls have carefully mapped out the ways in which you will touch one another’s lives before you were even born. A large part of flirting from one’s soul to attract a soulmate involves trusting the process and the broader plan for your life.
By being true to yourself, loving yourself deeply, and having faith in the Universe, you are setting up the conditions for your soulmates to be drawn to you. And through your openness and desire to embrace these deep, true relationships, you are literally creating the space to welcome them in.
So relax, take some deep breaths, and express your unique beauty in the world. Then take the time to look into the eyes and smile at those around you — your soulmate may be smiling back.
Sara G. Mattis, Ph.D., C.H. is a licensed psychologist with over 20 years of experience in the treatment of anxiety and related issues in individuals of all ages. She has published several book chapters and professional articles on anxiety.