The best way to get to know someone is to ask them a lot of questions.
You don’t have to be dating your boyfriend for a long time to want to get closer to him. And whether you’re just getting started building that foundation or are working on a little foundation renovation, getting back to the basics can help.
One way to do that is by asking each other serious questions, based on his zodiac sign.
These questions might not be amazing first date material, but they should be saved once you two get those fun questions out of the way and get to know each other on a deeper level.
Even though serious questions can bring up some difficult emotions or intense discussions, don’t shy away from them. Sure, these topics might be hard to bring up at first, but once you do, it can lead to a lively conversation where you lay everything out on the table or clear up a few things you’ve always been curious about.
And because there are so many serious questions you can ask your man, it might even be a good idea to ask him certain questions based on his zodiac sign.
Using astrology to know which questions to ask him will give you a more honest insight into the kind of man he is because you’re asking him to think about things his sign finds most important.
To help you get started, here are the best serious questions to ask a man, based on his zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Best question to ask an Aries man: “What is your greatest success/achievement in life?”
This question can really only be answered one way by Aries, but it can give you two different answers.
On its surface, it’s just a question about what Aries believes is his greatest achievement in life, which he will love to answer for you because it gives him an excuse to humble-brag about what makes him so great. But there is a deeper meaning to this question, too.
When he answers this question for you, listen to what he has to say. Is his greatest success something that lifts others up too, or is he bragging about something selfish and destructive?
Asking him questions about his values will let you know if he has good intentions or if he’s hiding a more calculated, aggressive part of himself that you didn’t know before.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Best question to ask a Taurus man: “How many times have you been in love?”
Taurus loves really hard, so it’s important to know what you’re getting into early on in the relationship. You know, just to make sure there aren’t any lingering feelings or animosity towards his exes.
He’ll definitely be honest with you if you ask him about his past outright, but there’s often a different answer that comes with asking him about his past in an indirect way.
Ask him questions about his past (in a non-accusatory way), like how many times he’s been in love, to learn more about his growth as a person and a boyfriend. Did he learn from his mistakes or is he still making the same ones (and that’s why he has so many exes)?
He’ll give you all the answers you need, you just have to really listen to what he’s saying.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Best question to ask a Gemini man: “What scares you?”
Gemini goes through life pretty much flying by the seat of his pants. There is hardly a moment where he’s not jumping to the next partner or experience, so if you’re dating him, you know that you always have to be on your toes to keep up with him.
If you want to get him to slow down for once and actually answer a serious question, you need to catch him off-guard.
Gemini dates a lot, so he’s used to the typical questions about his exes and himself, but what he isn’t used to is being asked about what scares him. Is it spiders or ending up alone? How he answers might surprise you, but it’ll surprise him, too.
If you want to get inside the Gemini mind, you need to ask him questions that will make him stop and really think about his answer.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Best question to ask a Cancer man: “What’s your biggest relationship deal-breaker?”
Cancer spends so much time cultivating the perfect relationships that he doesn’t often stop to think about what really matters to him.
He knows that he needs to act a certain way, be a specific person, and do the right things, but there’s more to love than just going through the motions of a perfect boyfriend. This question is meant to reveal his true self.
Cancer dates with the intention of finding what he needs in a relationship, not what he wants. Ask him what his biggest deal-breaker is, but don’t let him get away with saying “a cheater” or “someone not close to their family.”
No. Is it someone who doesn’t support his love of painting? Or maybe someone who hates Netflix (is that even a thing)? What does Cancer really want?
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Best question to ask a Leo man: “Where do you see yourself in five/ten years?”
Leo is always looking towards the future — the future of his career, his relationship with you, and himself — so asking him where he sees himself in five years is a very revealing question.
And, luckily for you, he’ll answer this question seriously, and not by saying, “Probably sitting in my living room, why do you ask?” Just expect him to ask you the same question.
This question and any question about his future will tell you all about where his ambitions lie. Whether he wants to own his own company, start a family, or travel the world will tell you what’s most important to him.
He wants to know that you will support him no matter what he wants to do, as well as encourage him to take chances and make the most of life.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Best question to ask a Virgo man: “What’s your idea of the perfect relationship?”
Virgo loves to have total control over everything in his life, but he’s also not one to boss you around (that much).
What that means is, while he would love to have the perfect relationship, he would also prefer that you read his mind than him having to tell you what that perfect relationship looks like. It’s convoluted, but that’s Virgo for you!
Asking him right off the bat what he needs in a relationship will give him the chance to say “a partner who cleans up after themselves” without getting frustrated and ending things because you didn’t do the dishes that one time. Ask him questions about his needs, and it’ll give you both a chance to create and nurture the perfect relationship together.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Best question to ask a Libra man: “What’s your best/worst habit?”
No shade at Libra, but he thinks that if a relationship is full of romance and surprises that it’s healthy and perfect and amazing. Little does he know that buying you flowers isn’t going to erase your little argument from earlier that day. It helps, but it doesn’t really help, you know?
Getting him to answer serious questions about himself, however, will definitely help.
Asking him what his best and worst habits are will give you honest insight into the kind of person he is. Is he a great listener? Is he awful about doing laundry an acceptable amount of times in a month? Are these things you can live with?
Get him to be honest about himself so you know what to expect when you date him; even when he buys flowers instead of talking it out.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Best question to ask a Scorpio man: “What do you wish people knew about you?”
Scorpio likes being in relationships, but he also has a hard time opening up. Maybe he’s just a little scared to be so vulnerable, or maybe he wants to know that this relationship is going to last before he starts letting his guard down, but he does try really hard to open up.
Asking him serious questions will help you connect on a deeper level and get him to loosen up a bit.
Not a lot of people know about Scorpio, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t love to tell you about himself. What he needs is a safe space before he can get honest with you.
Asking him questions about himself, and letting him ask questions about you, will create a welcoming environment that he can feel comfortable while giving you the answers you want to know about him.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Best question to ask a Sagittarius man: “What is your biggest failure/regret in life?”
Sagittarius is another one of those zodiac signs that have a hard time slowing down and being serious because he’s always looking for the next big adventure or experience in life.
He also tends to hide his true self behind humor and casual relationships because he doesn’t want to open up to someone just for them to leave him. Hey, sometimes you’ve got to protect your heart.
If you want him to know that his heart is safe with you, you need to show him that being vulnerable is satisfying, even if it’s a little scary, too. Asking him about his biggest regret in life will reveal an honest and true side of Sagittarius that not everyone is lucky to see.
Don’t ask this question to try to fix him but to try to get to know him better.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Best question to ask a Capricorn man: “What are some qualities your partner must have?”
Just because Capricorn has high standards for his relationship doesn’t mean you, his partner, should be kept in the dark about them. One reason it’s so hard to keep a Capricorn interested and happy in a relationship is that it feels like a guessing game to figure out what his sky-high standards really are.
This question will bring clarity and happiness to your relationship.
Rather than spend your entire relationship trying to keep up with him, get on his level right away with some serious questions about what he looks for in a partner. Should they be kind and caring? Do they need to have a good work ethic?
Sometimes, you really do just need to ask him what would make him happy. And hey, don’t forget to tell him what would make you happy, too.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Best question to ask an Aquarius man: “What do you stand for in life?”
Aquarius might not say it out loud, even though it’s kind of hard not to figure it out eventually, but he loves sharing his opinions with you. He’s the kind of zodiac sign that’s always thinking about serious things, so being able to share his opinions with someone he cares about means a lot to him.
So, why not indulge him and ask him what he thinks about things that matter to him?
Not only will you get a peek into that fascinating brain of his when you ask him what he stands for in life, but you’ll also learn more about his morals. What does he stand for? Do you have the same dreams for the future?
He has a lot on his mind, and he wants to know that you’re going to respect who he is and what he wants out of life and this relationship.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Best question to ask a Pisces man: “What are your biggest relationship fears?”
Ask Pisces about his biggest fears, in relationships or otherwise, and you’re bound to get a lot more than you bargained for. He’s not the kind of person to bring up what he’s afraid of without provocation, but if you ask him about his fears, he’ll definitely give you an honest answer.
Pisces doesn’t like thinking about negative things, but he does appreciate that you want to hear him out.
Pisces is another one of those zodiac signs that believes that a little romance can solve anything in a relationship, rather than confronting problems and learning how to solve them together. Asking him about his fears will give him insight into what he’s really afraid of.
Is it just breaking up with someone or actually the feeling of abandonment? Time to get honest, Pisces.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She’s passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.