Not everyone needs to be a parent. Let’s face it: there are some people who just don’t belong in charge of a little person. If you don’t want kids and know that, good for you. There’s no requirement that states you have to reproduce unless, of course, you’re a firm believer in the bible.
Don’t quote me, but I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement of Christianity to at least try to begat kids if you’re able. Either way, there are some folks who need to steer clear of making babies.
Here are a few signs you’re better off not being a parent.
1. The world ends and starts with you.
When you have a child, your own personal agenda tends to go by the wayside, because when kids are little they simply cannot care for themselves without the guidance of you, the adult. So if you think planet earth revolves around your every stinking move, please do us a favor: don’t reproduce.
2. You aren’t stable.
We all have baggage and issues, but a few people on this planet are so unstable that they don’t know if they’re coming or going. If you struggle to care for yourself, don’t have kids until you are. Children aren’t meant to care for their parents; it’s the other way around.
3. You don’t like them.
Not everyone likes kids, and that’s OK. It doesn’t make you a bad person. But if children make your skin crawl, don’t cave to peer pressure or societal expectations by making any. Just don’t.
4. You’re obsessed with vanity.
We all want to look good post-baby, but if you’re freaked out by gaining a pound or getting one single stretch mark, I can tell you a few things: find stronger self-esteem, diets, and exercise exist, and you definitely shouldn’t have kids.
It’s normal to want to look good and feel fit, but if your obsession with your looks overtakes you so much that you cannot handle being pregnant, wait until you feel more confident in yourself before you decide to raise others.
5. You’re angry and yell often.
I grew up in a loud household. We weren’t yelling, we were talking … loudly. But if you yell and yell often because you’re angry with life, hold off on making babies and scaring those future kids to death. You’re already harassing the world with your burgeoning anger. Try therapy first.
6. You prefer being alone.
If you prefer being alone above seeing other people or being intimately involved with anyone, you may not be a great candidacy for parenthood. You’re rarely alone after you have a kiddo. It’s great to cherish your solitude and I champion your desire to stay alone, but if company unnerves you, children aren’t going to be much better.
7. You expect perfection.
If everything has to be “just right” all the time, you could be Type-A like myself … or you could be so stringent that a child wouldn’t fit into your world. Kids are messy, loud, risky, and impulsive little souls. They will disrupt your life in the best and worst of ways because that’s what they do. If you cannot stand anything to be out or off of your schedule, parenthood will throw you for a loop.
8. You demand every last drop of your partner’s attention.
We all want to be loved and adored, and there’s no shame in that. But if you can’t stand the thought of your partner paying attention to someone else other than you for five seconds, you’re not ready to be a parent.
Even when you think they’re sleeping, kids will wake up and demand that you pay attention to them. They require constant work, love, and care. You will not be the center of your partner’s universe ever again until the kiddos are out of the house.
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9. Your marriage or relationship is a sh*tshow.
If you’re involved or married and the relationship is an utter wreck, you shouldn’t have kids. Not now; wait until you get out of your toxic situation. You may think a child will make things different or better, but news flash: A child will only make your problems larger, not smaller.
Your deadbeat partner won’t suddenly “see the light.” This isn’t television or film. This is real life and real life is full of unhappy endings and sadness.
Laura Lifshitz is a writer, former MTV personality, and Columbia University graduate who writes about divorce, relationships, women’s issues, and parenting for The New York Times, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.