Where do you take someone you met on Tinder for a cheap date? A coffee shop, of course, where a few bucks will buy you just enough face time to determine if this new boo has potential…or is a potential creep.
Do you know who else is making that call right along with you? Your barista (just like those bartenders), has no choice but to bear witness to your painful Tinder date. But at least they’re getting paid for it.
Read on for some of the most embarrassing first dates Tinder has ever been responsible for — as told by the baristas who lived through them.
8 Real-Life Tinder Dates From Hell (As Witnessed By Baristas)
1. Not Having It IRL
“A guy came into our coffee shop late one weeknight when we were dead. This girl walked in shortly after him, gave him the once over, turned around, and walked out. As she was leaving, he called out, ‘Jen?’ but she didn’t turn around and kept heading for the door. He paid for his coffee, and sat for an hour, clearly hoping that the girl who had left wasn’t Jen and that maybe she’d show up.” -Brian, 23
2. Wishing For Something Stronger
“I watched this couple meet up at the counter, hug, and make small talk. When the man thanked her for having coffee with him, the woman told him, ‘Well I usually can’t get through these internet dates without alcohol, so we’ll see how this goes.'” -Kate, 31
3. The Coffee Debate
“One day I took an order from a woman for a large black coffee. I brought it down to the other end of the counter to her, just in time to catch the awkward moment where Tinder dates try and recognize each other. I heard the guy she was meeting ask her, ‘You drink that stuff?’ as he motioned to the coffee, and she said, ‘You asked me out to a coffee shop, don’t you drink it too?’ He told her, ‘No, I come here for the hot chocolate’ and she said something to the effect of ‘Oh, how mature…”’ -Leslie, 56
4. Date: Interrupted
“On a really slow day, I was watching this couple have what looked like an ordinary awkward first date. They were maybe an hour or so in when a guy stormed into the cafe and started yelling things like, ‘This guy, seriously?! Where did you meet him?’ and the girl’s date responded with ‘Tinder, where everyone meets. What’s your prob, bro?’ Probably the worst comeback of all time.” -Courtney, 22
5. Swiping Right For Real
“One time I watched this woman wait around the register for her date to show. He came in, saw her, smiled, and then took his thumb and air swiped right across her face. She gave him a weird look, and he said to her, ‘I just want you to know that I’d swipe right for the real-life you, too.'” -Carl, 28
6. Going The Distance
“We really don’t see a lot of dates at our coffee shop since we’re a stop-and-go place, with just three stools along a bar. A customer who I’d seen many times before was sitting at the bar one day, and his date showed up, hugged him, and they got to talking. At one point she asked why he chose to have her meet him here since she had told him she was from uptown and this cafe had really been a hike for her. He told her, ‘I live in this building. Upstairs.’ From that point on it was pretty much over.” -Sam, 24
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7. The Cheap Date
“One of the worst dates I’ve seen was this couple who were clearly both not happy with how the other one looked in real life. Both of them made comments like, ‘Oh, I thought you were much taller’ and ‘I barely recognized you.’ Then the girl came right out and asked, ‘Why did you ask me out to coffee? You’re too cheap to buy me a drink?'” -Stan, 33
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8. Must Love Cats
“I was scheduled to work the night shift, and when I came in my co-worker motioned to the couple sitting in the corner and told me that I had to listen in on what was going on. After a while, I heard the girl say to him, ‘we’ve been talking for weeks now, what took you so long to ask me to meet up?’ He told her, ‘you had a lot of pictures with your cat, so I was exploring other options.'” -Kara, 26
Danielle Page is the founder of ThisIsQuarterLife.com, a blog dedicated to making your mid20s easier to navigate. Danielle’s work has been featured on Woman’s Day, Your Tango, Mandatory, Matador Network, The New York Times, Thought Catalog, and The Huffington Post.