You meet someone new and develop a major crush. Texting and FaceTiming with them is sweet and funny and you find them amazingly attractive.
But before you meet up in person, there are things you want to know to determine if this prospect could actually be the romantic partner of your dreams.
There are probably a million questions coursing through your mind, but you can’t ask them all. So, what should you ask? What do you really need to know before you meet face-to-face?
Curiosity varies with each individual since people have different priorities. However, there are some basic things everyone wants to know and others that are more personal to your own needs or mindset.
There are important questions to ask before meeting up for the first time.
As you consider how to gather the essential deets about your online crush, it’s important to remember this vital fact: While you’re judging others to see if they meet your standards, they’re judging you.
As a love and dating coach for 20 years, this is the reason I urge my clients to use a bit of restraint. If you ask your online crush a barrage of invasive questions before you meet, you might never get to the actual date.
While you think you should collect essential data, there’s a better way.
Instead, focus on making a good first impression. That’s a heck of a lot easier to do when you have a relaxed conversation. Create a balance between questions that qualify your date and having a good time.
Think about it this way. If you ask, “Why did you get divorced?” will your date be comfortable and quick to answer? I doubt it.
It’s likely that questions will make your online crush feel uneasy and defensive. They don’t want to think about an ex while meeting you — and you don’t want that either. This is not a fun question or one that shows your date in the best light.
You’d be far better off finding out how they like to spend their free time, what books or movies they enjoy, and where they traveled on their last vacation.
These questions are a pleasure to answer and allow passions and preferences to show.
Here are 7 important and top priority questions to ask your online crush before meeting in person.
1. “Are you single?”
Yes, this is worth asking because there are people on the apps and dating sites who are in a relationship or married, looking for extracurricular activities.
2. “Do you live and work locally?”
It’s a lot easier to date someone who lives and works locally. When your date lives or works out of town, coordination can become a problem and many things can get in the way of getting together.
Be smart and make your love life easier — date local.
3. “Do we have anything in common?”
You don’t need to be like twins and love all the same activities. Yet, a few things can help you know if you’d be good together.
Maybe you have a similar background or interest in art which would be wonderful common ground.
4. “What’s your idea of fun?”
There are countless ways to enjoy life and if you both like to ski, go to the beach or enjoy learning about history or cultures, that’s great.
But if one of you lives for football and the other hates sports, that might not work.
5. “What do you think about religion?”
This is not important to everyone, but if religion matters to you, better find out before you even meet.
This should be a big qualifier and is easy enough to ask about.
6. “Where are you, politically?”
With the political climate being so polarized today and if politics are important to you, get this question out of the way from the start.
There’s no point in meeting if you’ll end up in an argument about the senate.
7. “What type of relationship are you seeking?”
If you are looking for a serious relationship that could lead to marriage, say so.
You can feel free to ask what your online crush is looking for on the site or app, so you don’t waste time on a person who doesn’t want the same thing.
No matter how hot or exciting your crush is, if you want something long-term and they want to date around, you have to walk away. Otherwise, you’re sure to face heartbreak.
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Don’t hope to change that person’s mind. Move on to find someone who has the same dating agenda.
If you follow this advice, you’ll start to qualify your online dates before you meet and discover if you like each other as much in person.
Then, you can slowly sprinkle in other questions on future dates.
You don’t need to know everything before you meet.
First, see if you can simply have fun, get each other’s sense of humor and life perspective, and then get another date. This works so much better and will keep you from wasting time too.
Most importantly, try to have fun out there!
Ronnie Ann Ryan has been a Love & Magical Life Coach for 20 years. She has shared her sound advice and practical magic for mindful dating, love and life with thousands of successful single women and conducts past life readings, as well. She is the author of 7 Ways Your Past Lives Affect Your Love Life Now.