“It’s really hard to get through to that guy.” Ever find yourself saying that? That’s because “that guy” has his emotional walls up, and he’s so established in keeping them up that you know you’ll never get through.
If we add astrology into the mix, the zodiac signs who have emotional walls up can cause the same frustration. They refuse to open up, and there’s nothing you can do to help them become vulnerable.
What does it mean to have walls up?
Emotional walls are basically boundaries but on steroids. Your brain develops “walls,” or emotional barriers, as a way to protect you. Building an emotional wall is a defense mechanism.
Sometimes, these walls are a good thing, but other times, your brain goes overboard in its efforts to protect you, and you end up missing out on amazing adventures life has to offer.
Having walls up also means you aren’t letting others in and letting them know you on a deeper level.
What causes emotional walls?
People put up emotional walls if they have been hurt in the past and don’t want to experience that deep pain again. They’ve gone through something that was emotionally painful and build these walls to keep people from getting close. This way, they don’t have a risk of someone hurting them.
Men do this often, especially after they fall in love for the first time and it ends horribly. But women do this as well. It affects everyone’s mental health and causes feelings of isolation.
In their mind, they reason that the more they let people in, the more they can hurt you. The only person they can count on is themselves, which makes them emotionally unattached in relationships, not sharing intimate things with their partner.
Take this one step further and you’ve got the main problem in relationships: lack of communication. In fact, the lack of communication between couples is the leading cause of divorce.
Not everyone can own up to their feelings, nor can they be honest about their emotional state. All that vulnerability is enough to make certain people hide behind their stoic attitudes.
We all feel pain, and we all get crippled with emotional reactions, but many of us have taught ourselves to restrain, withhold and play down anything that has to do with emotion.
Here are 6 zodiac signs who put up emotional walls:
1. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Some might say Aquarius is the one sign that actually has no emotion to wall up, and on some level, they might be correct. Of course, you, Aquarius, are able to feel emotion, but that would get in the way of your desire to control everything you see, and we all know that’s never going to happen.
Whatever it is that you are hiding behind, that emotional wall is top-notch personal to you, and what’s personal to you is out of reach on a permanent level to us.
2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You feel so intensely, Taurus — perhaps even more than others. And you’ve learned through trial and error that showing emotion only gets you in deep trouble.
You’ve adjusted your life so you feel as little pain as possible, and in doing so, you’ve perfected the building of your protective walls.
You may be a person of deep feeling and emotion, but you want no more to do with unnecessary amounts of pain, and if shutting down is what you do to maintain your personal peace, then so be it.
3. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The walls came up the moment you exited the womb, Scorpio.
You know how to protect your heart and you view everything “out there” as a potential enemy. With that kind of defense in place, your wall of emotional protection makes you come across as cold and unfeeling, which is exactly what you want people to know about you.
You are relentlessly closed down when it comes to feeling emotion, and, in a way, that’s good because you don’t lie; you let us know right at the top that you are emotionally unavailable.
4. Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra, you like the idea of people thinking you are a sensitive, emotional creature of love and light, but in truth, you are just another human being who is scared to death of just about everything.
You put up walls to guard yourself, and those walls look like you lying to everyone or being overly kind to everyone else.
You fib with faux friendliness so people think you are nice and end up leaving you alone. Your walls look like a fabrication of kindness, all created to stave off the curiosity of anyone who might hurt you.
5. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarius, you weigh your emotions and see what works for you and what doesn’t. And when things don’t work for you, you make your move towards shutting down.
You are giving with your emotion until it’s time to stop, and when you decide to put the breaks on and withdraw your emotional involvement in something, you do it coldly and without relent.
Sagittarius feels no guilt, especially when it comes to shutting out the crowd for the sake of finding inner peace.
6. Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Emotion is not something you want to be involved in, Gemini, and considering that it’s almost blissfully easy for you to shut down and say nothing, that’s your go-to response when things become too emotional for you.
You are lucky in this regard, as you rarely let anyone past your walls to begin with, but should such a thing as vulnerability or emotion enter your world, you know just what to do about it: end it before it hurts.
To bring down your emotional walls is hard because you are intentionally making yourself vulnerable again. The best thing to do is to see a professional, so they can help you identify and break down why the walls are there, and establish personal growth to safely break your walls.
Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.