Everyone wants to know how to identify if the person you are with is “The One,” but it is equally, if not more, important to figure out who isn’t the one.
Once someone enters and establishes a place in your life it becomes difficult to disengage from them without some scars. Why waste your time with the wrong person when the right person for you is out there somewhere? By knowing that he’s not the one, you might be able to save yourself from a lot of unnecessary heartache down the line.
Abuse and other extreme signs are obvious ways to tell that someone is NOT the one, but there are other subtle signs that are often overlooked when trying to determine if your significant other is worth it or not. Most people do not talk about these signs because they don’t know that these behaviors are not acceptable or they just are not aware of what is actually going on.
Sometimes it’s just about listening to your gut, which can be surprisingly helpful in the matters that involve the heart.
To help you identify the signs, here are 5 ways to know he’s not the one!
1. He does not support you and your dreams.
This is a big one because if he does not support you or your dreams, he could potentially stand in your way down the line.
You’ll recognize this sign when he does not get excited for you and your accomplishments or if he tells you that your dreams and goals are too far-fetched to achieve.
You deserve someone who is your biggest cheerleader who will encourage you to follow your dreams! Don’t let anyone who does not believe in you into your life.
2. He compares you to others.
If he is always comparing you to other women or men in terms of looks or other accomplishments then he’s not the one! It’s not in your head — he wants to instill insecurities in you with this tactic. It could be because he has his own insecurities and believes that he needs to increase yours in order to be able to hold on to you. But that’s not a compliment and someone who truly loves you would never want to make you feel less than you are.
3. Your friends and family don’t like him.
This can be a difficult pill to swallow, but your friends and family know you on a deeper level and they know what you need and want what’s best for you. Considering that they have your best interests at heart, they are able to tell if something is fishy with him even if you are too busy daydreaming about him.
If they have gathered up the courage to actually tell you that he’s not the best match for you, you might want to listen to what they are saying.
4. Your values don’t match.
It’s not our education, looks, money or possessions that make us who we are; it’s our values. You need to make sure that the person you’re with actually has the same values as you before you start believing he’s your soulmate. Otherwise, you might run into some serious issues. For instance, if your values surrounding commitment do not match his, you are bound to collide throughout your relationship. So ask yourself, do you have similar values?
5. It just doesn’t feel right.
Our intuition is extremely powerful and we shouldn’t suppress it. Does it feel weird when you are with him? Do you feel uncomfortable? Or do you catch yourself acting different and unlike yourself around him?
The last one is important because it reveals that you are not comfortable being yourself with them. Your partner should make you feel as though your real self is your best self. He’s not the one if you are inclined to put on a face around him.
Mehruba Chowdhury is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.