Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus, or so it seems, when you consider the widely different ways we think, feel, and act.
The problem is we too often forge our differences by expecting our partners to think and behave as we do. AskMarsVenus coaches have put together the following list of common things that women do, quite unknowingly, that drive men away.
To have a happier relationship, try to avoid these behaviors as much as possible:
1. Telling him what to do.
Are you constantly telling your man how to drive, how to dress, how to behave? Women are good at making improvements, but this highly sensitive area is off-limits.
The most important thing to a man is doing a good job. Question his competence and you’ll not only hurt him, but you’ll meet a wall of resistance.
Instead of telling him what to do, try to ask for his opinion. Men thrive in an environment where they are the experts, so help them be the expert.
Instead of saying, “Honey, you should do this…” ask his opinion, “Honey what do you think of this?” This allows him to share his thoughts and you get him involved in a conversation about whatever issue is on your mind. This simple trick is how you can help bring about improvements in your man without telling him what to do!
2. Breaking into his cave.
This is a big “no-no” for women. When a man has a problem, he goes to his cave (becomes quiet and withdrawn) to solve it. This is normal behavior, and during these times, he doesn’t want to talk or be disturbed. If you follow him into his cave or pressuring him to talk, you’re likely to encounter a fire-breathing dragon.
When a man is forced out of their cave before they are ready it’s a bit like waking a sleeping giant. If you give your man the space to work their issues out on their own you are showing them that you trust them.
And trusting a man to do their best is one of the greatest gifts a woman can give their partner. So enjoy the time, see a movie, go out with friends, or simply relax…He’ll be back soon enough.
3. Mothering and smothering him.
Men can be big babies, so they’re easy to mother, and of course, some mothering is readily accepted. The problem is when mothering becomes smothering. In effect, you’re saying he isn’t grown-up. He isn’t competent. He can’t handle things on his own. That’s offensive.
Also, mothering makes it difficult for him to see you in a romantic way! Instead, trust him to handle his own issues and when he doesn’t let him deal with the repercussions. When he needs your help he’ll be sure to ask.
4. Asking him with “Could you …?”
When asking him for something, do you use the words “could you … ?” It may seem like a minor point, but when you say, “could you take the trash out?” you’re questioning whether or not he is capable of doing it. This is offensive to him.
Instead, ask “would you take the trash out for me?” This shows you have confidence in him to handle the job and will be pleased to have him do it for you.
5. Remember, pleasing you is what pleases him.
Many women are unaware of what really turns men on in bed.
One of his biggest turn-on’s is knowing he is giving pleasure to you. He wants to see you aroused, excited, fulfilled.
So, instead of worrying about pleasing him… let him please you. When you receive the secrets of successful relationships, you’ll learn to communicate your desires and other secrets to great sex!
Try to avoid these 5 behaviors that drive men away and your relationship will be more successful, and your overall happiness will be greater.
Dr. John Gray is a Doctor of Philosophy and relationship coach, author of Wellness Solutions, with features in People, Oprah, Time, The New York Times, and more. Follow his Twitter.