Being single and trying to figure out how to be happy for the holidays can be dreadful and downright embarrassing.
The last thing you want to experience is your friends and family asking you,“How come you’re single? You seem like a great catch.”
All you want to do is roll your eyes and walk away.
If you find yourself this time of year wishing to spend it with someone special, then you’re not alone.
Without that special someone to toast to hot toddy’s or cuddle up near a fire on a cold winter night, it can be awfully lonely.
How do you learn how to be happy again in life? How does one joyfully embrace their single status during the holidays?
You become “selflessly selfish.”
Here are a few ways to make being single not just bearable, but totally enviable this holiday season.
1. Indulge in self-love
Loving yourself from the inside out is truly the best way to reach a state of bliss. You don’t need anyone else to complete you when you are already full of love. Your ability to be happy and cheerful is within you and only you.
Discovering what fulfills you emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually will make your heart sing endlessly into the silent nights.
Self-love is the gift that keeps on giving. How does one practice self-love?
To be happier, I personally keep a healthy regimen by being proactive with working out, eating healthy, immersing myself in my love for photography, and staying present each day.
You can seek fulfillment with self-love in other ways by creating a deeper connection with yourself. The more you are connected to who you are, it’s much easier to show up and attract what you want with a partner.
This gives you clarity and certainty within your own lifestyle without creating confusion or frustration for yourself.
The more profound your vision is of who you are, the greater the value you will place on your self-worth. This is key to asking for what you need in a relationship from a partner who you want to share your life with.
2. Hang out with friends and family who support you
Hanging around people who embrace your relationship status and fully accept you is more important to your emotional health and happiness than you can imagine.
If you continuously invest your time with those who don’t support you, it can be challenging to stay positive, especially if they keep harassing you for a wedding date.
This can be very burdensome and quite difficult to hear, which can potentially drive you to a deeper state of disparity and heartache.
Positivity is contagious. What are you supposed to do when your family or friends don’t support you?
You own your place and establish healthy boundaries. You don’t have to put up with anyone who makes you feel less than about yourself. But, you do need to communicate with them by kindly letting them know you appreciate their concern in regards to your love life.
And when you have news to share, you will be sure to share in triumph style.
So how do you set a boundary? For example, your mother keeps asking for grandchildren. Yet, you are single.
Your response would be, “Mom, I appreciate you asking about me having grandchildren. Unfortunately, this isn’t something I can predict. But, when it happens you’ll be the first to know. Is it okay if we don’t talk about it until I’m ready to share the news with you?”
Or perhaps all your friends are married and they keep asking about your love life and want to know who you are dating.
Your response would be, “Hey, thanks for asking about my dating life. I’m really enjoying myself right now. I love meeting new people, so I can’t complain. How’s married life?”
Owning where you’re at in life is the quickest way to shut down any negativity. Think of it as your PR stunt. Any wise person knows when they own a faux pas or something deemed unacceptable by society, they shut it down immediately.
So take ownership that you’re single and become a boundary hero! I can sure your friends will be less likely to ask next time around.
3. Geek out over a new hobby
Embark on something you have always wanted to learn or do. When you put your mind to work and have fun doing something you love, you take the pressure off of finding love and, instead, you end up finding happiness.
You cannot chase love, but you can attract it. Challenge yourself mentally by learning a new language, taking a cooking class, or snapping a photography class.
Whatever sparks your interest do it with pure passion. Who knows you might even meet someone who enjoys the same hobby as you? And, if not, so be it.
Your new hobby will boost your confidence tenfold during this time. So, when the right person walks into your life, you have value to add to theirs.
New interests can also help you get in touch with the undeveloped parts of yourself.
While learning something new, you will face parts of you that you may have yet to fully accept about yourself. This gives you a place to self-reflect, as you master self-acceptance and appreciation within yourself.
Not only does this increase your value, but if you don’t accept who you are, then how will a partner accept all of you, too?
The more zest you have for life and your personal interests, the more interesting you will become to others. You are creating depth and layers about you which makes someone want to get to know you even more.
Curiosity is imperative to capturing a partner’s interests.
4. Travel to faraway adventures
This is my favorite way to live a happy life of all time. Being a world traveler and adventure seeker myself, I cannot express enough how much this allows you the freedom to be yourself.
When you immerse yourself into a new culture it allows you to discover what you want out of life.
I always come back from an adventure full of inspiration, gratitude, and a newfound outlook on life.
Traveling can push you to your limits by helping you get outside of your comfort zone for personal growth. You face unknown obstacles, which create new experiences and opportunities for you to cherish.
When experiencing something new that you think you can’t do, it sparks your ability to see outside of yourself and let go of fears.
The more speed-bumps you overcome the greater love you will have for yourself because your inner beliefs begin to transform from “I can’t” to “I can”.
Not to mention, international travel takes up more of your time, so you’re not stuck sitting at home making wishes under the mistletoe all alone.
Book a flight and gain insight!
5. Be grateful for where you are presently
A negative attitude will never give you the love life you deeply desire. Who wants to hang out with a negative Nancy?
I cannot tell you how important it is to have a positive outlook on life. A partner is not going to rescue you. And, more importantly, if you are looking to be rescued you’ll end up in an unhealthy relationship.
Happy people have gratitude over a negative attitude.
How do you become grateful for your single status? Try creating a daily gratitude list of three things you grateful for in your current lifestyle. Gradually over time, you will begin to see a mental shift in your thinking.
As you start to see how much you have going on for yourself that you were unable to see before, you will find yourself thinking and feeling more positive.
And, let’s be honest most of us have more than what we need.
As a human being, you don’t need much to be merry. When you learn to appreciate what you have, then you can learn what is you need to have fulfillment. Most importantly, all you need is you!
So with the holidays around the corner, embrace yourself by accepting and appreciating the value to add to your own life.
Jan and Jillian Yuhas, MA, MFT, CPC are Love and Lifestyle Coaches who help singles own their worth and attract and the love they deserve. Sign up for their Twins’ Tips newsletter and begin transforming your love life today.