Instinct is a powerful human force — and when you feel like your partner is cheating, that intuition can sometimes take over and leave you blind to the biggest signs of infidelity.
Trying to think about anything else other than his potential betrayal becomes difficult; you want the truth and answers to your intuitive feelings as quickly as possible if you’ve been asking yourself, “Is he cheating?”
Why do men cheat? There are many reasons, and likely in your situation, if you’re asking yourself, “Do I have a cheating spouse? Is he cheating on me?!” then you’ve already drawn some pretty big conclusions as to why.
Even though it’s incredibly hard to face infidelity, when the warning signs start popping up or your intuition tells you something is wrong, you must pay attention.
While you don’t want to jump to conclusions and wrongly accuse your man of being a cheater, you also don’t want to put your head in the sand and ignore the signs of cheating, either.
Here are 5 signs you need to pay attention to (and trust your intuition on) if you suspect your guy is cheating on you:
1. His habits suddenly change without reason
If you’ve been together for six months or more, you know your man’s habits. When something kicks up your suspicions, stay alert to see if additional signs surface. After three or four of the signals below appear, you’ll have to find a way to deal with it.
The most common tip-offs are behaviors that tend to create distance between the two of you.
- He starts fights: When a man starts to have feelings for another woman, sometimes he naturally does or says things that push you away. It would be so much easier for him if you do the breaking up because he won’t feel as guilty.
- He disappears: If your guy is normally reliable, but he suddenly goes missing for periods of time and doesn’t offer any reasons, that’s a big fat red flag.
- He’s less affectionate or avoids sex: Your guy is normally affectionate, but is suddenly “hands off.” That’s odd. Another woman could cause that kind of withdrawal.
- He’s busier at work: Suddenly he’s busier than ever, so he misses dates or dinner with you or starts a string of cancellations.
- He works on his appearance: If your man seems preoccupied with his looks more than usual, that’s another big red flag. Who’s he trying to impress?
- He takes his phone into the bathroom: Why would he need his phone in the bathroom? This is often a clue about clandestine texting or hushed conversations. He’s definitely hiding something.
- He’s moodier: Anyone can go through mood swings, but if his moodiness seems stronger than usual, something is up and worth asking about.
- He smells different: This is such a classic tip-off. You might notice perfume that’s not yours, soap, or shampoo that just doesn’t smell like him.
- He leaves his dating profile up: No doubt this is the sign of a man who is not willing to commit or be monogamous. Why would he need his profile if you two are in a relationship?
- He stops saying “I love you”: This feels awful when he used to express his love often, but now he’s stopped sharing his feelings.
2. You’ve been cheated on before (and recognize the behavior)
Once you live through a man cheating on you, that’s not something you soon forget. Even if you forgive him and stay together, this leaves an indelible mark.
So, if you start feeling similar stirrings, you might not be overly paranoid. It might be intuition trying to warn you.
The mind processes formation in two ways:
- The conscious mind analyzes the information it receives.
- The subconscious mind (your “Spidey Senses”) gathers cues from people and the environment, then compares it to what’s in your memory bank. So, if your gut tells you he’s cheating, you already know what that feels like.
Combine your intuition with changes you see in his habits, and there’s no denying something is going on. That’s why you must be more intuitive and follow up on hunches you have.
3. You’re reading more emotions than you realize
There was a fascinating study conducted by 23 and Me at the University of Cambridge which combined genetic data with results from an empathy test.
What did they find? Turns out a woman’s ability to read a man’s emotions by looking into his eyes is related to a specific genetic marker men do not possess!
Women are naturally more capable of empathy, and this factors into your intuition as your subconscious mind scans for data.
So if you feel like your intuition is screaming that he’s cheating on you, this could have something to do with it!
4. Your gut instinct is literally connected to your brain
Science keeps coming up with more proof that stirrings in your gut are real. Research shows that your gut, which includes your stomach and intestinal track, actually communicates with your brain through neuron circuitry called the “gut-brain axis.”
With a huge number of neurons, your gut is literally talking to your brain. These types of communicative cells were discovered to have an ancient connection to similar cells dating back as far as 600 million years.
That means your gut knows when something is going on. Those tingly feelings or butterflies are a result of all those nerve cells, so if you’re feeling intuitive about his cheating, pay attention!
5. You trust yourself and your feelings
If you suspect your mate is cheating, you’re likely to talk with your closest friends about it to see if this is for real or you are losing your mind (doubtful on the latter). She may listen intently, sympathize, or tell you what she thinks.
However, no one knows you better than you know yourself. That means if you find your confidants are not supportive of your gut instincts, you need to rely on your own knowledge and intuition.
Most people mean well, but only you know what’s best when it comes to you and your relationship. Once again, you’ve got to trust your gut instinct and intuition. Something is bothering you; when you have that feeling, pay attention and check things out.
So how can you talk about this with your partner?
First of all, unless you have hard proof of cheating, you want to avoid accusing your man right out of the gate. Try hinting around to start the conversation and see if he’ll come clean.
Say something like, “Things feel different between us and I was wondering if you had anything you wanted to tell me.” That creates a natural opening.
In case that doesn’t work, your next step is to address your suspicions directly by asking him about it. Try saying, “I’m worried you might be cheating on me.” This is still softer than screaming at him how you know he’s been unfaithful.
There are times you can work through this, especially with a good therapist or family counselor. Infidelity does not always lead to breaking up or getting divorced. If you can have an open, honest discussion, with time, a new level of intimacy can sometimes develop, and your love can be strengthened for many years to come.
If you’re asking yourself, “Is he cheating on me?” check in with your gut instinct. Your intuition is trying to steer you in the right direction.
For over seventeen years, Ronnie Ann Ryan has been a love and dating coach for women. She’s helped thousands of successful single women with hot careers (but a chilly love life) find lasting love. Listen to her free audio program 5 Surefire Ways to Attract a Quality Man.