Pretty much every female on this planet has to deal with that time of the month. You know, our monthly monster, shark week, the crimson tide, moon time, mother nature’s gift, good ‘old Aunt Flo — yes we’re talking about your period.
For most women, menstruation is just a fact of life that comes with living in our bodies (that we don’t really love).
So why is talking about our periods or menstrual cycles something society has made women feel like we should be embarrassed about? Why is it that when girls have to go to the bathroom on their period, we feel the need to hide our tampons?
Is it because we worry about looking weird or gross? Making it known that our body is functioning normally should not be that big of a deal, period.
So in celebration of (or at least in recognition of) getting your period month after month (after month after month), we’ve collected 40 of the best period quotes, jokes, and funny sayings about menstruation to make going through this time of the month a little less frustrating.
40 Best Funny Period Quotes About Menstruation to Make You Laugh
1. “Periods are ridiculous. I shouldn’t be punished for not being pregnant.” — Unknown
Why are periods so hard?
2. “Menstruation. Menopause. Mental breakdowns. Notice how all women’s problems begin with men.” — Unknown
Coincidence? I think not!
3. “Maybe if period pain burned calories, it’d be worth it.” — Unknown
If there were a plus side to having your period.
4. “Why you’re bad*ss. Because you can bleed for a week straight without dying.” — Unknown
We, women, are freaking cool.
5. “Yes, I am on my period. No, that doesn’t mean that my anger is irrational.” — Unknown
Don’t downplay my emotions. PMS is a real thing.
6. “Periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder.” — Unknown
7. “My uterus is shedding and I will not hesitate to stab you.” — Unknown
Stress is high during that time of the month.
8. “I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable.” — Unknown
Truer words were never spoken.
9. “Periods. Of all things, why blood? Why can’t it be like…fairy dust or something?” — Unknown
Why can’t we feel magical on our periods instead of like we’re dying?
10. “Cramps…more like angry little ninjas inside you trying to kill you.” — Unknown
What’s that all about?
11. “Do you ever start your period and think, ‘well, that explains a lot’.” — Unknown
The pre-symptoms are some of the worst.
12. “Ow. My vagina is falling off. I’m going to die. Wow, this is dumb. There goes a pair of my cutest underwear. I’m going to kill myself. Why wasn’t I born a boy?” — Unknown
So many bad things happen.
13. “PMS: Prepare to Meet Satan.” — Unknown
I knew it stood for something different.
14. “Stressed because period is a week late, period is a week late because of stress?” — Unknown
An endless cycle.
15. “No! Of course, cramps don’t hurt! It’s just my body laying a freaking egg and if it doesn’t get used, my body will just RIP down the wall inside me. No big deal.” — Unknown
Why do people assume that periods are not a big deal?
16. “Me when my doctor wants me to completely strip: ‘I have my period’.” — Unknown
Nerves are a real thing.
17. “Boy: ‘psh! how bad can a period be? So what, you got cramps?’ Girl: ‘how about you let me stab your stomach 100 times and let you bleed out and make you walk around like everything is perfectly fine.'” — Unknown
They will never understand.
18. “Dear tampon commercial, when I’m on my period, I don’t wear a white bikini or do a backflip. Sincerely, real women.” — Unknown
True, they’re never realistic.
19. “Dear tampon and pad companies, please make your items quieter to open. Sincerely, the whole bathroom who now knows I’m on my period. Thank you.” — Unknown
They’re really trying to expose us like that.
20. “Can’t find my phone or keys, but I always manage to find the tampon that wants to magically jump out of my purse at the worst possible time.” — Unknown
They always appear when we don’t need them are nowhere to be found when we do.
21. “I threw a tampon (still in the package) into a crowd of teenage boys just to watch them scream and run in separate directions.” — Unknown
22. “Why don’t they put prizes in your tampon box? Like, your period sucks…here’s 50% off Ben & Jerry’s you cranky b*tch.” — Unknown
We’ve earned a little prize.
23. “Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, Windex commercial – you’d think all women do is clean and bleed.” — Unknown
We’re good for other stuff!
24. “Dear Spongebob, you live in Bikini Bottom and you’re super absorbent? Sincerely, you’re a tampon.” — Unknown
He’s been called out.
25. “Who lit the fuse on your tampon?” — Unknown
That’s what it feels like sometimes.
26. “If your girl is on her period: don’t argue with her, bring her food, watch movies with her, make her something to eat, RUB HER TUMMY, make her laugh, lay down with her, hold her in your arms, massage her, don’t say ‘ew’, handle her mood swings, understand she’s in pain.” — Unknown
Spoil her! She needs it.
27. “Period problems: Falling asleep in white sheets and waking up on a Japanese flag.” — Unknown
Any woman who has experienced an unexpected period can relate.
28. “If I get my period on my wedding day, I’m calling the wedding off.” — Unknown
When your period is unpredictable and you’re trying to plan around it.
29. “When I’m on my period: Person: ‘hey’ Me: ‘Can you shut up?'” — Unknown
Don’t even try talking to me at this point.
30. “Guys that are grossed out by girls getting their periods are lame. I’m sure your mother was praying to get hers but got you instead, tragic.” — Unknown
It’s natural! Don’t be afraid.
31. “Girls have periods, cramps, babies, and everything else. The least a guy could do is text us first.” — Unknown
They owe us at least that much.
32. “Periods are red, I’m feeling blue, screw you hormones, Mother Nature, I hate you.” — Unknown
Such a sweet poem.
33. “I was watching tv and started crying. When my brother asked why I was crying I yell, ‘my uterus is crying blood, so I am crying tears’ he just slowly walked out of the room.” — Unknown
Poor friends and families.
34. “I could hate you more than anything else in the world, but if your period soaks through your pants, I got your back girl.” — Unknown
Girls gotta stick together.
35. “Just because you have your period, doesn’t mean you get to be a b-tch.’ ‘Oh okay. Just because you have a dick, doesn’t mean you can be one.'” — Unknown
He needs to realize his place.
36. “What’s a period? Uterus wants a baby. A person doesn’t have a baby. Uterus wants revenge.” — Unknown
It’s a love-hate relationship. Mostly hate.
37. “Do you ever start crying about something and then the next day you get your period and you’re like I knew I wasn’t a weak *ss b*tch!” — Unknown
Never doubt yourself!
38. “Dear guys, If you know that your girl is on her period, bring her pizza or fries or ice cream or any food you know she likes. It’ll make her happy in her most crappy days of the month.” — Unknown
Be there for her.
39. “My tampon string was hanging out of my bathing suit. my boyfriend pulled at it thinking it was a thread from my bathing suit and publicly ripped out my tampon.” — Unknown
Oh yikes. Educate this man.
40. “If you’re not on your period right now, just take a moment to appreciate it.” — Unknown
Love the time you have.
Hayley Small is a writer who focuses on pop culture, religion and relationship topics.