I’ll admit it: I’m a certified crazy cat lady. I’ve owned cats my entire life and, to a point, I feel closer to them than I do regular people. Cats aren’t like most other animals out there, and anyone who’s owned them can tell you that.
They pack more personality into their fuzzy little bodies than most people you’ll meet. They’re cute and yet, at the same time, hold an air of mystery that most other animals simply don’t have. In history, they’ve been painted as mystical and magical. During modern times, they are considered to be epic social media fodder.
For me, being a cat person is not just about loving how cute they look on Instagram. As a practicing pagan, I hold cats in very high regard — not only as pets, but as a religious symbol. Cats have, and always will, have a special place in my heart. It’s just that simple.
I know that I’m not alone in my adoration of feline friends. Cats are currently the most popular pet in the world. Most “cat people” don’t just like cats — they love them. Heck, the fact that there’s so much cat-themed merchandise, cat quotes, and even catgirl anime floating around the net is proof alone.
Being a cat person has been statistically linked to a number of traits, too. They’re known for being more introverted, more caring, and more likely to enjoy sitting at home while reading a book. That bookishness means that many cat people will enjoy reading some cat puns.
Because the best puns are those about our feline friends. You just can’t argue with that. My fellow feline lovers, this list of cat puns is for you. Can I get a round of ap-paws, please?
1. Anyone who’s dealt with a hungry cat can relate
Feed me. Feed me, right MEOW!
2. Pyramids, or…?
Ask any ancient Egyptian: stacking up a couple of cats will allow you to make a purr-amid.
3. But what about more than just a couple of cats?
If you stack up more than just a couple of cats, you end up with a meown-tain.
4. This one’s an oldie, but a goodie
I’m not kitten around.
5. DJs will get this one
My cat just joined a DJ forum. I can’t wait to see his first scratching post!
6. Cats have expensive tastes
If my cat would drive, he’d insist on getting a Furrari.
7. Aren’t they all, though?
The other day, I saw a cat that was able to convince me to hand over my lunch scraps to him. He was purr-suasive AF.
8. If cats used Tinder
My tomcat saw a photo of a lady cat online. I could tell he thought she was a total Sphynx.
9. Oh noes!
My cat recently knocked over a cup of water onto my laptop. This is a total catastrophe.
10. Despite that…
Even though my laptop is gone, I’m feline fine.
11. Does not go well with toast
What do you call a Spanish cat that painted itself green? An avo-gato.
12. Bookish, much?
The other day, I saw a cat sitting in a library. I’m guessing he was litter-ate.
13. Cats really do eat string sometimes
Did you hear about the cat that swallowed too much yarn? Yeah, she had mittens.
14. We all should take a cue from cats
If nothing else, observing our feline friends reminds us to take paws and enjoy life.
15. Mean girls understand
You know, I totally hate it when people call meowt on being catty to people.
16. True facts
Sleeping next to your pet is super soothing. Heck, it’s the cat’s pajamas.
17. How stylish
Cats are so diva-like, aren’t they? They way they strut, you’d think the world is their catwalk.
18. It’s true
My friend left her sushi out on the table, unsupervised, in front of her three kittens. It spelled catastrophe for dinner.
19. If cats were movie buffs
Did you know cats are avid fans of James Bond? It’s true. They love to watch Octopussy.
20. Cats are natural herbalists
Cats are huge fans of gardening. Whenever they see something they don’t like growing in a planter, they’ll nip it in the bud.
21. You shouldn’t give cats citrus
I strongly recommend never giving your cats lemons or limes. It’ll turn your furry friend into a sourpuss.
22. Internet culture fans will get this one
I’ve decided to go harder than ever before. My online presence will be stellar. I’m Pusheen it to the limit!
23. If male cats had dating profiles
“Hey babe, I’m a total Catsa-nova. No one can whisker away like I can.”
24. If female cats had Tinder profiles
“Check meowt, baby! I’m a total sex kitten.”
25. Tom and Jerry
Did you ever watch Tom and Jerry growing up? It never really struck me until now, but Tom was a total purr-vert who was always chasing tail.
26. 10/10, would listen
Judging by what I hear during the morning mews, I’m pretty sure my cat is trying to be a TV personality.
27. Cats are known for loving fine rugs
My cat recently decided to become a rug critic. It seems he’s a fan of Persian styles.
28. Cat lovers agree
Those tiny claws in your leg are just a cat’s way of saying that all you knead is love.
29. Cosplay idea?
My friend decided to cosplay as a member of the Pussycat Dolls for a party. All she really needed to do was grab some lingerie and kitten heels to make it complete.
30. If you do this, you’re a bad person
I took my cat’s favorite toy away. He didn’t find it a-mewsing.
31. Drugs are bad, okay kids?
My cat became a drug dealer… until he was arrested for pawsession of meow meow.
32. Cats would make amazing lawyers
You know, if cats could be lawyers, you’d never have to worry about missing a claws on your contracts. Your furry attorney would always advo-cat on your behalf.
33. Geeks will appreciate this one
You know how many times I’ve seen that poptart cat video? Well over nyan thousand times.
34. Big cat pun incoming
Dude, I told you I wasn’t lion about that dude. He’s a total cheetah, and he moves fast.
35. And the reason why we all love cats
No matter how much money you make, or what you look like, cats will always see you as purrfect — just the way you are.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she’s not writing, she’s drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.