Maybe your friends and family hate your partner. Perhaps you’re left constantly feeling insecure in the relationship or questioning their secretive past. They might act controlling or even abusive.
Rose-colored glasses and red flags in a relationship don’t mix.
These are all major red flags, but often when you’re in the throes of a relationship, they are much easier to ignore than deal with, especially when you are donning rose-colored glasses.
According to Psych Central, red flags are “signs that insinuate that compatibility is not at the forefront early on — and that truth could have been buried, inherently, deep down.”
When these red flags occur, you are usually aware of them, but choose to ignore them in favor of continuing the relationship.
Because you so badly want the relationship to last, you look at it through your rose-tinted glasses, meaning you only see your partner’s good points and never their flaws.
You constantly give them the benefit of the doubt, but at some point, a red flag should not be ignored.
Deep down, you are probably aware of the problems, and it’s important to listen to your intuition when it is sending you a warning.
Red flags in a new relationship are often seen through rose-colored glasses because we want to give others the benefit of the doubt.
If you want a relationship to continue, you are likely to ignore some red flags to remain open-minded and optimistic.
You know how to spot red flags in a relationship, but set your feelings aside despite the future pain wearing rose-colored glasses may cause you down the road.
This is especially pertinent if you are already in a vulnerable state.
For example, if jumped into a new relationship while still recovering from a breakup, you are likely to ignore any red flags in order to avoid more heartbreak. You don’t want to blame a new person for things someone else did in your past.
Compared to the pain you felt when the previous relationship ended, the red flags may not seem as daunting. You may still be full of self-doubt, so rather than let go, you hold on. You view things through a light that is positive, even when you should turn and walk away.
Another reason that you may find yourself ignoring red flags is that you would rather hope that the situation will improve than give up on it.
According to Psych Central, “it’s only human, it’s only natural, to hope that something better is on the horizon if issues are present. It’s understandable to want to transcend the relationship conflict that’s occurring, even if that conflict is a byproduct of fundamental differences.”
Though what looks like a red flag to one person, may not to another, it is vital to listen to your gut in those situations.
It may seem preferable to repeatedly give your partner the benefit of the doubt, however, when you constantly ignore red flags, you are really hurting yourself in the long run.
Red flags are often warnings of something worse to come, so sometimes it is best to end the relationship now before it becomes any more serious.
Here are 30 relationship red flag quotes for when you’ve got your rose-colored glasses on:
1. “If something on the inside is telling you that someone isn’t right for you, they’re not right for you, no matter how great they might look on paper. When it’s right for you, you will know. And when it’s not, it’s time to go.” Mandy Hale
2. “When people show you their red flags, show them your white flag and peace out.” — Unknown
3. “Finally realized I was never asking for too much. I was just asking the wrong person.” — Unknown
4. “God will always bring the right people into your life, but you have to let the wrong people walk away.” – Joel Osteen
5. “You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.” — Unknown
6. “Your life will get better when you realize it’s better to be alone than to chase people who don’t really care about you.” — Unknown
7. “You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” — Nina Simone
8. “Such a disappointment when you defend someone for so long thinking they are different, and they turn out to be just like what everyone said.” — Unknown
9. “Always remember, someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.” — Unknown
10. “You know, it’s funny. When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” — Wanda from BoJack Horseman
11. “Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them. You have to figure out who’s worth your kindness and who’s just taking advantage.” — Unknown
12. “One thing I learned a long time ago was never to ignore the red flags in the beginning, or they’ll be the same reason in all ends.” — M. Sosa
13. “The red flags are usually there, you just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.” — April Mae Monterrosa
14. “At the end of the day, most people settle for less than they deserve.” — Unknown
15. “As we gain confidence in ourselves, red flags are no longer red flags. They are dealbreakers.” —Unknown
16. “Most human beings choose to ignore the red flags because they’re not in the emotional space to accept the truth that they are seeing. If they were to see the red flags for what they are and acknowledge their significance, they would have to make a decision that they are not emotionally ready to make. To put it simply, fear keeps most people from seeing the red flags” — Joe Amoia
17. “People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention.” — Keri Hilson
18. “If you ignore the red flags, embrace the heartache to come.” — Amanda Mosher
19. “Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been.” — Sylvester McNutt
20. “Sometimes you need to give up on people, not because you don’t care but because they don’t.” — Jennifer Green
21. “Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up on bad vibrations. If something deep inside of you says something is not right about a person or situation, trust it.” — Unknown
22. “Use discernment. Guard your heart. Ask questions. Pay attention to red flags.” — Michael Bliss
23. “When all you know is fight or flight, red flags and butterflies all feel the same.” — Cindy Cherie
24. “Of course you didn’t see the red flags. You were using them as a blindfold.” — Erin Van Vuren
25. “Sometimes you invest so much in a relationship that you do everything within your means to save it, overlooking flaws and red flags. But remember this, anyone who forces you to continuously sacrifice yourself respect doesn’t truly care about you.” — Phoenix Mode
26. “Don’t let loneliness and desperation make you ignore the red flags. Ignoring them won’t make them disappear. It’ll just hurt worse when it all falls apart.” — Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
27. “My biggest regrets in life are being too damn nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and making unworthy people a priority.” — Unknown
28. “Listen up, if you are begging for compassion, respect, communication, consideration, and common decency in a relationship, then this is a huge red glad that you are in the wrong relationship. You should get at least that much.” — Unknown
29. “I wish the pain of betrayal was as easy to ignore as the red flags that forewarned of it.” — Steve Maraboli
30. “It is a very wise decision to be alone rather than be with someone who will just hurt you.” — Unknown
Audrey Jaber is a writer living in Boston, Massachusetts. She covers a variety of topics for YourTango, including news, entertainment and astrology.