Guys who have never had a girlfriend — are they shy or downright players?
The reasons why some guys never have a girlfriend vary, and they aren’t all bad. Maybe he’s been focused on school or his career, or just genuinely hasn’t found someone he liked enough.
Your interest in a man shouldn’t be determined by his dating history. You deserve true love, and just because he’s never had a girlfriend doesn’t mean he isn’t worth committing to — you just may need to approach the relationship a little differently.
Here are 20 ways to spot guys who have never had a girlfriend.
1. He’s awkward on the first date.
You can easily spot the signs a guy has never had a girlfriend if he’s mega-awkward on the first date. Sometimes it takes a few dates for someone to warm up to you and truly be themselves, especially if they haven’t had much practice.
If there’s not a spark right away, don’t be alarmed.
Hey, it’s better than dating a guy who knows how to literally charm the pants off of you just to ghost you (that is if you’re seeking a long-term commitment.)
2. He’s not a great communicator.
If he’s been in a long-term relationship before, he’s had to learn how to use “I feel” statements.
Men who haven’t dated anyone before will have to learn how to communicate with a romantic partner.
3. Obvious cues go over his head.
Are you trying to hint that you want a smooch, but he’s just not taking the hint? He might honestly have no idea what your goal is!
4. He doesn’t mention any past relationships.
Chances are if he doesn’t tell you that he’s had an ex, he probably doesn’t.
5. He is too eager for commitment…
Sometimes you can tell a guy hasn’t had a relationship based on how excited he is at the prospect of dating someone.
Is he dropping the “I want you to meet my parent’s card” way too soon?
Anyone who has been in a serious, committed relationship knows that the process of establishing a relationship takes time.
6. …Or he’s not eager enough for it.
There’s the shy guy that’s never had the guts to date a girl, and then there’s the guy who is commitment-phobic.
If he’s trying to delay the “what are we” talk as much as possible, it could be that he’s not ready for a partner.
Or, he’s terrified.
7. He doesn’t cook for you.
If he eats like a bachelor king, then he probably is.
No girlfriend would be happy with potato chips for dinner!
8. He has unrealistic future goals.
If he’s not taking you into account, that’s a sign he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
9. He’s so obsessed with video games that it hurts.
This one’s definitely a stereotype, but a stereotype worth considering.
10. He never plans your dates.
If he doesn’t plan any dates, it’s probably because he’s never had the experience of someone getting annoyed at him for not putting in any effort.
This problem is easy to fix, you can just let him know you’d like him to pick up some of the dating slack.
11. There’s no evidence of an ex on social media.
It could also be a sign that he deleted all evidence of her if the breakup wasn’t amicable.
But still, you can usually tell if someone’s been single forever based on their social media.
12. He can’t hold eye contact for more than half a second.
A guy who can barely look at you on a date probably doesn’t get that close to others often.
A shy guy can be a relief to date. While it’s difficult to get him to open up, you’re less likely to worry about other people catching his eye.
13. Compromise is difficult for him to get behind.
Anyone whose taken their romantic relationship seriously knows this lesson all too well.
Compromise is the key to keeping a relationship afloat.
If the apple of your eye is taking the “my way or the highway” approach, it’s a sign he’s gotten too used to flying solo.
14. He’s nervous to initiate any physical contact.
Feel like you’re making all of the big moves? That’s a sign someone is new to something.
15. He’s shy in the bedroom.
This can take the pressure off of you to impress him, which can ease any anxieties you might have.
Besides, if it’s the right person lack of experience doesn’t take that much of a toll. Everybody has to start somewhere.
16. He complains about being “friend-zoned.”
Too many hot takes on the concept of friend-zoning is a sign of an unlucky love life.
Men and women and people who have had relationships are less likely to have anything to say about how frustrating the friend zone is.
17. He only has one pillow for his bed.
Do you really think he had someone else sleeping in the same bed as him with only one pillow?
18. He has a twin bed.
Same logic as the rule above.
If you want someone else sleeping in the bed, it’s time to upgrade, bud.
19. He’s a virgin.
Does this one really need an explanation?
20. He’s not a big flirt — or very good at it.
If they’ve never had a girlfriend, they’re probably not very good at flirting.
Or talking to women in general.
What To Do If You’re His First Girlfriend
If you’re his first girlfriend, the worst thing you could do is make it a big deal.
You might have to be a little more patient or initiate a little more, but what’s so wrong with that?
Women can do anything, so why not take the lead?
If he’s never had a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean he’s an awful boyfriend, but it doesn’t make him a better one either.
Everybody has a different story — ask him his, get connected.
Izzy Casey is a writer who covers pop culture.