What makes a man feel loved? If posed as an essay question, almost every woman would have a slightly different answer.
For some women, the key to making a man feel loved is by doing little things for him every single day, like keeping his favorite beverage stocked in her fridge or giving him a back rub when he’s had a particularly hard day.
Others choose to express their love is less deliberate or obvious ways, such as by being his constant source of emotional support no matter what and at all times.
The truth is that just as every woman expresses her love differently, every man receives love differently as well. While back rubs and more support might work for one man, another might require something completely different.
But while men and women are quite different in many ways, there is one way in which we’re all similar: We all want to know we are loved and desired by our partners, no matter how long we’ve been together or how unromantic we consider ourselves to be.
There’s no one size fits all way to make a man feel loved, so you have to figure out what works for the man you love in particular, as well as what works for you.
To get a better sense of some examples that have worked for other couples, we took a peek at Reddit ‘s Ask Men forum, where one redditor asked, “What are things your partner does to make you feel loved and wanted?”
In typical Reddit fashion, the guys over there weren’t afraid to get personal and share private stories of their own experiences in relationships. While you may notice that some common themes, you’ll find a wide range of loving acts and expressions that make a strong impression on men.
Check out these 19 meaningful ways to make a man feel loved, according to guys on Reddit:
1. Showing enthusiasm
“I can give a ream of cute examples but quite frankly when you strip it all away it comes down to this: she still, after 10 years, approaches all her interactions with me with enthusiasm and sincerity. She so obviously [cares], and that manifests in every word she says, everything she does, every gesture she makes. I’ve never once felt like she was nonchalant or apathetic about the relationship, and that it was just dull and faded wallpaper in the house of her life.”
2. Surprising him with hugs
“She surprise hugs me all the time, even when I’m trying to do something (but she knows when it’s cute vs ‘seriously I really don’t want to burn you with this pan.’) She’ll make me tea most mornings as I’m the lazy bones. She craves skin contact, PJs just aren’t a thing in our house (unless we have guests) and will hold on to me and steal my body heat! I reciprocate of course, but these little gestures and gifts really add up to make me feel like I really matter.”
3. Constantly making contact
“She reaches out to hold my hand or when she grabs onto my arm whenever we’re out shopping or doing errands or whatever or whenever we’re just at home watching TV on the couch. I love seeing her hand reach back for me if she’s walking ahead. I love feeling her hands grab onto mine or her grabbing on to my arm if I’m walking ahead.”
4. Sending messages in “morse code”
“Once, back when we were dating, my wife started squeezing my hand in rapid succession. I asked her what she was doing and she replied ‘It’s Morse code for I love you.’ Neither of us knows Morse code she was just being a dork. We have done it ever since.”
5. Dorking out with him
“When we were arranging the wood floors in our first house, which had skinny and wide boards, we used the binary for ‘LOVE.’ Turned out to be a great, appearing-random pattern for the floors, and now that house will always have love.”
6. Making his coffee
“Wakes me up every morning with a cup of coffee in bed. I know when I’ve done something bad if I don’t get coffee lol. Makes for an awkward walk down to the kitchen … hate those mornings.”
7. Giving early morning cuddles
“Those lazy mornings when she wakes up, says good morning as she rolls/moves immediately over to resume the cuddle sesh from last night that was interrupted by my snoring, our collective body heat or a combination of the two. May fall asleep again or lay there in silence. Either way, she wants to be close to me, and I eat that up.”
8. Sending suggestive texts
“Most notably are the times when we’ve not seen each other for a week or so, and I’ll get a ‘thinking about you’ or other mildly suggestive text from her.”
9. Bolstering his confidence
“I was the type of guy that didn’t take his shirt off when I got with my woman. Two years later being with someone i consider my other half I recognize she has made me more comfortable in my skin then ever in my life … All because this woman makes me feel loved and wanted always.”
10. Being supportive
“Whenever I do something, she’s always there to help me out. no matter what, unless she’s busy, and vice versa. Like the other day, working on my truck, she had nothing better to do, so she sat down with my toolbox and handed me tools as I laid there. I couldn’t have been more in love at that moment.”
11. Doing lots of little loving things all the time
“Text me randomly just to tell me that she loved me. Always would keep a hand on my thigh when I was driving. Would demand we watch shows on my laptop in my bed so she could cuddle, would talk about just wanting to spend the whole day lying in bed with me whenever she would stay over.”
12. Making lots of physical connections
“Touching me. My love language is definitely affectionate touch… Just touching my shoulders, arms, or chest just makes me feel really good.”
13. Randomly sending sweet emails
“She randomly sends me emails with things she likes about me. Kinda like an e-lovenote. I get excited every time I see an email with a ‘…’ subject. That’s how she always does it.”
14. Expressing her appreciation
“Words are my thing (I write for a living), so I’m used to giving a lot more than I get. But she makes an effort to express things that she likes about me. Just today, I got a text thanking me, not just for a conversation we had the other day, but for being the sort of person who starts that conversation. That’s really specific, thoughtful feedback, so I know [quite] well that she means it.”
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15. Scratching his back
“She randomly gives me back scratches. Cooking dinner? Back scratches. Watching TV? Back scratches.”
16. Caring for the children
“She folds all the laundry all of it (she hates how I fold things). She is much better at planning events and coordinating. She is much more motivated to clean the house (we both clean but she starts the frenzy every time). Lastly (and this doesn’t even really reflect on me but ), how she is with our boys. She may get annoyed by them but 99% of the time it is all giggles and smiles and it warms my heart.”
17. Helping him crack his knuckles
“She pops my fingers. Very therapeutic.”
18. Being his early bird
“My wife’s alarm goes off at 5:45. She pretty much jumps right out of bed, lets the dog out, brushes her teeth and then makes me a cup of coffee before starting her exercise routine. When my alarm goes off at 6:00 there’s a nice, hot cup of strong, black coffee sitting right next to my bathroom sink. I’m a very lucky guy and thankful for it every day.”
19. Hugging him from behind
“I know there are a ton of in depth answers, but I love physical touch and when she hugs me from behind it makes me feel like the best guy on Earth.”
Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor and writer living in Brooklyn, New York. She writes about pop culture, relationships, psychology and news.