A good kiss is hard to find. A great kiss is even harder.
Kissing, like all intimate situations with someone else, is totally dependent upon the experience. When you’re with a person who really knows how to kiss someone, it’s a memorable moment that leaves you wanting more.
You’ll also probably find yourself walking around with a silly grin on your face the next day too. It was that good!
When it is a bad kiss though, it’s something that you want to forget as soon as possible — which is why it’s so important to be a good kisser. Physical chemistry, especially when it comes to the science of kissing, is crucial for the success of a relationship to work.
Let’s be honest, it’s impossible to have a long-term relationship with another person if you also happen to cringe every time the two of you kiss.
You should want to kiss! The art of kissing can be really fun. There’s nothing like a good, old-fashioned make-out session.
When it comes to locking lips, sometimes it takes practice and other times, you’re just a natural. Unfortunately though, knowing whether or not our kissing techniques are on par is not so easy.
If you are good, your partner may tell you in the moment, especially if it’s your first time kissing. That’s always nice to hear.
On the other end of the spectrum, though, most of us have the common decency to not tell someone to his or her face that it was a terrible experience, even though 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women have expressed that after a bad kiss, they’re less attracted to that person.
But men and women and people all have different definitions of a bad kiss.
That begs the question then: How do you know if you’re a good kisser?
RELATED: How To French Kiss Better Than Anyone Else (Yes, Really!)
Obviously, this is a subjective topic — some people prefer french kissing and open mouths, others require lip balm.
If you’re feeling like you need to amp up your romantic kissing game, read below to see the qualities that make someone an excellent kisser.
Here’s how to be a good kisser (and how to tell if you are a good kisser).
1. Stay in tune with the other person.
Kissing has been compared to both a dance and a conversation. A dance, however, would be the best analogy since that is also a non-verbal form of communication.
When two people kiss, it’s about connecting with the other person, not a competition between the both of you.
You are two people coming together as one. If one person takes the lead first, then the other person can take the lead, but more than anything, it should feel organic and connected.
2. Make eye contact before the kiss.
A great suggestion if you need a moment to better connect with your partner would be to stop kissing and just look into each other’s eyes.
It’s a very intimate experience and can help you both get on the same page — and also give your lips a quick rest too.
3. Use the proper amount of tongue.
Depending on who you ask, kissing with tongue gets mixed answers. Some people want more of it, while others complain that it is too much. Like most things in life, moderation is key.
4. Pay attention to their body language.
Sometimes you can tell someone is — or isn’t — into something based on their body language.
If you notice your partner likes to use tongue a little more than you’re used to, meet them halfway. If you’re someone who prefers to use your tongue more, don’t overdo it.
No one wants to feel like their mouth is being attacked with your tongue.
5. Kiss more than just the lips.
Believe it or not, a successful makeout session can involve more than just kissing the lips. One of the most popular spots for women, in particular, is the neck, but this can also be a turn-on for guys as well.
There are different erogenous zones that can be included while kissing as well. Feel free to mix it up! Your partner will thank you.
6. Use your hands.
When kissing someone, you shouldn’t just stand there with your arms at your side.
You can also put your hands on the back of their neck or head.
7. Hold them.
Take them in your arms as you are making out.
Lovers are meant to be embraced!
8. Run your fingers through their hair.
f your partner has a great head of hair, utilize that and run your fingers through it. That is hot!
9. Mix up the types of kissing.
In addition to kissing, you can also incorporate things like biting, sucking, and licking as well. Remember though, everything in moderation. You’re not Dracula or Lassie.
10. Ask them what they like.
It’s important to check in with your partner. If they respond positively to something, that’s good.
11. Ask them what they don’t.
If you can tell they aren’t into it, then stop. This goes back to the whole idea of being in tune with one another.
12. Tell them what you like.
Your partner isn’t a mind reader. If you feel like your needs aren’t being met, don’t be afraid to tell them.
It might feel a little awkward at first, but you’ll both be thankful for it in the long run.
13. Be considerate when it comes to personal hygiene.
If you’re in an intimate situation with someone, it’s also important to be considerate of your partner as well.
14. Keep your breath fresh.
If you’re going to kiss someone, yes — absolutely make sure you have fresh breath.
No matter how great of a kisser you are, if your breath is bad, it’s still a huge turn-off.
15. Discover your signature scent.
Something else to consider is cologne and perfume. We’ve all come across the people whose perfume or cologne you can smell a mile away.
When you’re kissing someone, you should smell nice but not overpowering. Your partner is trying to make out with you, not ‘cool mountain rain.
Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native. When she’s not writing, Jill enjoys Zumba class, travel, and referencing classic Seinfeld episodes.