Even when you’re crazy in love with someone, it can often be hard to know if he or she is “right” for you.
How do you know you won’t feel differently in a year? Ten years? A lifetime?
Deciding if you can commit to someone is a deeply personal determination, and everyone has different criteria. As in any verdict, you have to start by assessing the evidence.
Are you soulmates? Kindred spirits?
What does it mean when a relationship is meant to be?
A relationship that’s meant to be doesn’t necessarily mean it will be completely effortless. All relationships take an effort from both parties in order to work.
To those who say love is easy, I call BS. Because love isn’t easy, it’s hard and messy, and sometimes you end up crying all alone in a corner with a pint of ice cream.
But there are times when you find someone who is also willing to help you put the pieces together that make a relationship shine through and sparkle with love.
Many view love and relationships as if they are entwined with destiny, meaning if you are meant to be with that person then it will happen without you having to reel the person in or kill yourself trying to get them to notice you.
In actuality, if something is meant to be it doesn’t mean you should just give up pursuing this person altogether. If you want someone go for it (consensually and non-stalker-like, of course).
I’m a firm believer in the J.M. Barrie “if it’s meant to be” point of view because I still like to think soulmates exist and that my person will find me or ill find my person. But others think otherwise, it’s really just the way you want to play the game.
How do you know if it’s meant to be?
You can finally relax and figure it out using the list of positive signs below.
Note: You don’t have to check off all of these points to be sure about someone, but if you can say yes to several, you’ve found someone very special and possibly true love itself.
Here are 15 signs that indicate you’re meant to be together.
1. You tell them things you don’t tell anyone else.
We don’t mean blurting something out after you’ve had too much merlot, but the desire to tell someone intimate details about your life means you trust them — a major component of successful long-term love.
2. You let them see you in moments of weakness.
It’s easy to be happy with someone when you’re feeling good about life. But what about when you’re not doing so well?
Do you want to see them when you’ve been denied a raise or your cat died, or you had a bad day? They should be a comfort during tough times, not a burden.
3. You respect them.
You don’t want to change the essence of who he is. There may be stuff that irritates you in everyday life, like him insisting on wearing his favorite t-shirt, eating sugar cereal for dinner, or watching Saturday morning cartoons, but you like him, plain and simple.
4. You want them to meet your parents.
You feel proud of who they are and you want to show them off, as opposed to feeling like you have to make excuses for them.
5. You can imagine a future together.
You don’t have to have names picked out for your future children, but you should periodically let your mind wander to picturing a life together.
6. You’re not afraid to disagree with each other.
You know that even if you fight, they’ll listen to you and won’t brush you off. They take you seriously, even when they think you’re wrong.
Psychic/Medium Elizabeth Hunter Diamond begs the question, “Does this person have a growth mindset in terms of relationship? Do they (and you) see the relationship as an opportunity to grow individually and as a couple? Because, no matter how blissful your courtship might be, there will be conflicts and challenges down the road.”
Diamond continues, “Having a growth mindset means they’re committed to working together, infusing your interactions with curiosity and compassion, and deepening your intimacy. If they’re willing to confront the messiness of life and relationship together from a growth mindset, your relationship is truly meant to be!”
7. You want to work out your major differences.
If you do have crucial differences that will impact your future together — such as different opinions about religion, money, or something else — you want to work them out, and you believe you can come to a reasonable conclusion that will satisfy both of you.
8. You laugh together.
Laughter is one of life’s simplest pleasures. You should definitely be able to crack each other up.
9. You’re incredibly, utterly, surprisingly attracted to them.
Physical chemistry is an undeniably important ingredient in a healthy relationship. And if they’re not beautiful or handsome in the classic sense of the words, that’s even more reason to think she’s the one.
10. It’s OK to be quiet around them.
You don’t feel like you have to fill the space between you with chatter or other interaction. Instead, you feel an easy comfort.
11. You feel like yourself around them.
You don’t feel like you have to edit your thoughts; you’re not self-conscious or anxious.
12. You need them the right amount.
You long for them, but not too much. Some neediness is good, but too much breeds discontent.
13. You don’t feel too jealous.
You’re comfortable with them going out with their friends without you needing to always tag along. You let each other have your own lives and hobbies.
14. You feel like they make you a better person.
They make you feel smart, funny, attractive, creative and like the best version of yourself. You feel like they bring out and complement the best parts of you.
15. They just get you.
Sometimes it’s that easy. You feel like they understand some essential part of you that you can’t explain or articulate. It’s a warm, comfortable feeling, and one you should have with the person you plan to marry or spend your life with.
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