When you’re in your early 20s, almost everyone is single. Then, around 25 or so, “it” happens. Men, all of a sudden, want to start settling down.
And if you’re as unlucky in love as I am, that means that you will end up being single in your 30s, still trying to find “The One” who’s actually right for you. In a couple of years, almost everyone you know will end up settling down, but sometimes, there are men who end up staying single.
Why do some guys stay single?
According to a study from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus, scientists led by Menelaos Apostolou anonymously quizzed and analyzed more than 6,700 comments from men on Reddit to know the 43 most common reasons why men can’t find a partner or stay single.
1. Poor looks
Men who thought they looked bad or didn’t like the look of themselves, particularly if they were balding or were too short, said that a woman wouldn’t want to be with them.
2. Low self-esteem
Lots of men also admitted to being single because of low self-esteem and not having a lot of confidence in themselves. But this can be easily changed if you alter your mindset and see yourself in a different way.
3. Low effort
Not surprisingly, lots of men reported also have little to low effort in wanting or maintaining a relationship, and weren’t putting themselves out there to potential daters.
4. No interest in relationships
Unfortunately, some men just don’t have any interest in being in a relationship and prefer the single life.
5. Poor flirting skills
Some men are natural flirters, but for others, it can be very hard to flirt with women. This is due to nerves or the inability to pick up on signals.
For natural introverts, dating can feel difficult. These individuals might prefer to stay single and be alone. But sometimes it’s best to try something out of your comfort zone.
7. Recent breakup
Breakups aren’t overcome instantly, and for this reason, anyone could understand why a guy would want to be single after ending a relationship.
8. Bad prior experiences
Now, you can’t base every relationship or dating experience on bad relationships from the past. Everyone is different and you don’t have to be so cynical about relationships; instead, keep an open mind.
9. No available women
This one is hard to believe because there are plenty of women out there looking for relationships. If you put in the effort to look for a mate and put yourself out there, there’s a larger chance you’ll be successful.
In the case of the men who were single because of their insecurities, they might genuinely feel lonely, especially if they actually want a relationship but are too scared to put themselves out there. However, for others, casual hookups are the norm and they might not ever feel lonely because they don’t want a relationship anyway.
While the most common word for a single man is a bachelor, he could also be called a player if he chooses to stay single and date many women at once, without choosing a commitment to one of them.
And as you might be able to tell from this list of why men are single, there are, unfortunately, single men who reach the age group of 35 and over without being in a relationship. But speaking as someone who’s been there, dated that, and followed all sorts of dating advice, I know who these types of guys are.
Here are 13 types of guys who stay single that you’ll meet after you hit age 35.
1. The Aging Player
If he was still 22 and was the classic bad boy, this might be alright. But when a guy is single at 30 and still juggling women, it’s safe to say he might not be cut out for a life of commitment.
People who need to keep up the “Player’s Lifestyle” are not necessarily happy people; they’re often very lonely and very insecure. They often have issues they may not even be aware of.
Sure, these guys can coast along when they’re 30, but usually, by 40, they realize that men’s looks fade, too, and money can only go so far. Contrary to popular belief, men do end up losing value over time, too. After all, money can’t buy love.
2. The Bitter Man
Much like bitter women, the Bitter Man had just one too many bad experiences with the dating scene and now he’s done. Unlike bitter women, though, Bitter Men express their bitterness with rage and are very vocal about it. They want you to know the dating equivalent of, “You didn’t fire me! I quit!”
Much like the Aging Player, these men may need mental wellness help or to do some soul searching. They know not all women are like that, but they’ve reached the point where the resentment and rejection got so bad that they no longer could have a healthy relationship, even if they wanted to.
3. The Frantic Man
Biological clocks happen with men, too. One day, this guy, possibly a player, woke up and realized that he needs a family. Now, he’s on the prowl, and he’s a bit desperate.
His friends are getting worried, and so are his family members. He’s hitting up Match.com trying to find “The One” who will be a good baby mama.
Oddly enough, he’s probably not that bad of a catch. However, you better be willing to settle down yesterday with this one. Like, babies, ASAP.
4. The Divorced Dad
He’s a great guy, things just didn’t work out with his ex. There’s a small catch to dating him, though, and it’s not really that small. He’s got a kid… or five.
You better believe that he’s looking for a replacement mother for them, but there’s good news.
These guys, if you want to have a ring and kids, are a good option. Sort of. They can have baggage that might make you think twice, especially if you hear rants about baby mamas thrown in the mix.
5. The Married Guy Who Claims He’s Single
Yeah, they’re not single. They’re just horrible human beings who probably should divorce the poor women they swindled into marriage. Nothing about guys like this is sexy.
This is a huge portion of the reason why so many women end up having trust issues. But he’s in the minority. At least, that’s what I’m hoping is true.
6. The Dumpster Fire
Dumpster Fires are actually not always physically unappealing, per se, but that’s often icing on the cake.
You see, the problem with Dumpster Fires is that they are literally unable to behave normally with other people. They often have an idea that something might be wrong, but they can’t, for the life of them, understand why they have such a hard time with people.
There are a million reasons why a Dumpster Fire could be a persona non grata in the dating scene. Whether it’s due to Nice Guy Syndrome, drug use, violent mood swings, or something else, the fact is that the Dumpster Fire is always a disaster in the dating scene, regardless of how much they can’t see that fact.
7. Mr. You’re-So-Nice-As-A-Friend
Some people, regardless of looks or personality, just don’t seem to have the right “zazz” to be considered attractive by others. He might have an “uncle face,” put off the wrong vibes, or just have some kind of mismatch in hormones.
Sadly, there’s not much people in this situation can do, aside from continuing their search, trying to improve themselves more, or giving up.
8. The Optimistic Quitter
Sometimes, love just doesn’t seem to be a priority, or, rather, just doesn’t seem to be in the cards.
Men, more than women, are likely to just stop trying to date anyone and are also likely to stop pursuing partners. Why? Because in many situations, it just doesn’t make sense to keep trying only to face an increased change of being shot down.
What’s cool about Optimistic Quitters is that they aren’t necessarily bitter towards women and they would be open if a girl were to approach them. However, due to the dating scene being what it is, they may not even pick up when a lady’s interested anymore.
9. The Manchild
Narcissistic and totally irresponsible, the Manchild usually does believe he wants to date someone. However, he doesn’t actually want a girlfriend. He wants a new mom. He also wants to have a mom that is physically intimate with him and provides for him.
Woe is the woman who finds herself a Manchild boyfriend because she’ll likely be burned out by the time she leaves him. Outwardly, though, he seems okay… at least at the start. That’s what keeps him being different than a Dumpster Fire.
10. The Guy Who Realizes He’s Messed Up And Refuses To Date Because Of It
Many of the types of guys who stay single that you’ll see after 30 are just not respectable from a dating standpoint.
But this guy? This guy, you have to respect. It takes a lot of willpower to actually admit that there are problems that need to be fixed before you get into dating again. Some of these guys swear off dating permanently, other guys are just doing a temporary break.
Either way, at least he’s being honest with himself.
11. The Guy Who Legit Is Happily Single And Won’t Change That
Social standards, be damned. Some folks are happy being single and want to stay that way. It happens to both men and women, so we can’t really hate that.
12. The Catch
He’s got a Master’s from Yale, a nice body, and, oh yeah, no psychological issues. He lives an action-packed life. He doesn’t have kids, either.
Problem? Well, he’s looking for his equivalent in a woman and, unfortunately, rare guys like this will end up staying single for longer because it’s so hard to find someone that perfect, regardless of gender.
13. The Choosing Beggar
Some folks hear the phrase “Beggars can’t be choosers” and don’t realize it applies to them. As unromantic as it is to say, there’s no such thing as a totally perfect partner, especially if you, yourself, are far from perfect.
However, Choosing Beggars will not give up their standards of seeing younger women who are modelesque, 5’10”, with a booming career, regardless of the fact that they often have pot bellies, bad personalities, and dead-end jobs.
Oh well, single life isn’t that bad, right?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.