125 Most Relatable 'Friends' Quotes Of All Time
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  • Post published:29/05/2021
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Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard of the hit 90s sitcom, “Friends,” AKA one of the best television shows ever made. If you’re like me, you probably even quote the show all the time.

This show is iconic. It’s filled with relatable quotes and scenarios as you follow six on-screen besties you could ever want: Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Ross. They all have completely different personalities, yet they made one crazy, awesome friend group that everyone can relate to.

Some crazy scenarios popped up in the show, and somehow it’s still relatable to all of us living in the real world. Not everyone can magically have a huge apartment in New York City big enough to host parties and hangouts, but you get the point.

“Friends” also has very memorable catchphrases from each character like Rachel Green’s iconic catchphrase “No Uterus, No Opinion,” or Joey Tribbiani’s famous catchphrase “How You Doin?”

The most important lesson “Friends” teaches us is that you will always have your friends and they will always be there for you through thick and thin. “Friends” also teaches you that everyone has different opinions, do what you love like no one’s watching, always keep it real, and know there’s always a bright side to life and you just have to try to stay motivated with a little help from your friends.

That’s just what these best “Friends” TV show quotes show us!

These classic quotes might bring back memories that were deeply hidden in your brain, but you’ll probably be able to remember exactly what episode they are from. 

Enjoy taking a trip down memory lane with the best friends you’ve never met with these throwback lines from the show. Here’s “The One With” all the “Friends” quotes. 

Best Monica Geller Quotes

1. “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” —Monica Geller

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2. “Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember: If I am harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.” —Monica Geller

3. “Not just clean, ‘Monica clean.'” —Monica Geller

4. Rachel: “I’m not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he’s divorced.”

Monica: “No, you go after them five minutes before they get married.”

5. “Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that’s ours!” —Monica Geller

6. “Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?” —Monica Geller

7. “You can’t fire me. I make your decisions and I say, ‘I’m not fired.’ Ha.” —Monica Geller

8. Rachel: “Go tell him he’s cute. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Monica: “He could hear me.”

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9. “If you’re too afraid to be in a relationship, then don’t be in one.” —Monica Geller

10. “It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.” —Monica Geller

11. Monica: “I know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.”
Rachel: “What’s the other one?”
Monica: “I don’t know. I’ve never had to use the other one.”

Best Chandler Bing Quotes

12. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” —Chandler Bing 

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13. “I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!” —Chandler Bing 

14. “So it seems like this Internet thing is here to stay.” —Chandler Bing

15. “If I were a guy and… Did I just say ‘if I were a guy?’ —Chandler Bing

16. Ross: “I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.”
Chandler: “Was that place the sun?”

17. “Cheese. It’s milk that you chew.” — Chandler Bing

18. Ross: “No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.”
Chandler: “Well, maybe he was nervous.”

19. “I can handle this. ‘Handle’ is my middle name. Actually, ‘handle’ is the middle of my first name.” —Chandler Bing

20. “Until I was 25, I thought the response to ‘I love you’ was ‘Oh, crap.'” —Chandler Bing 

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21. “I say more dumb things before 9 A.M. than most people say all day.” —Chandler Bing

22. “I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last twelve hundred times.” —Chandler Bing

23. “I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.” —Chandler Bing

24. “Oh god. Can open. Worms everywhere!” —Chandler Bing

25. “When I first meet somebody it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.” —Chandler Bing

26. “Alright, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put my career before men.” —Chandler Bing

27. “Oh, I know. This must be so hard. ‘Oh, no! Two women love me. They’re both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet’s too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!’” —Chandler Bing

28. “Oh, man. In my next life, I’m coming back as a toilet brush!” —Chandler Bing

29. Rachel: “Hey, I cook!”
Chandler: “Offering people gum is not cooking.”

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30. “You’re a door. You only like knock-knock jokes.” —Chandler Bing

31. “Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.” —Chandler Bing

32. “This parachute is a knapsack!” —Chandler Bing

33. “What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?” —Chandler Bing

34. “It’s always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.” —Chandler Bing

35. “I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner, I rarely practice my meals before I eat.” —Chandler Bing

36. To Ross: “If you’re not careful, you might not get married at all this year.” — Chandler Bing

37. “I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work, and/or are sick.” — Chandler Bing

Best Phoebe Buffay Quotes

38. “Oh you like that? You should hear my phone number.” —Phoebe Buffay 

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39. “Come on, Ross, you’re a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.” —Phoebe Buffay

40. “Well, if she isn’t (dead), cremating her was a big mistake.” —Phoebe Buffay

41. “I’m a pacifist. But when the revolution comes, I’ll destroy all of you.” —Phoebe Buffay

42. “13 bathrooms in this place, I threw up in a coat closet.” —Phoebe Buffay

43. “It’s so exhausting, waiting for death.” —Phoebe Buffay

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44. “Oh, my God, a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders!” —Phoebe Buffay

45. “This is the nicest kitchen. … The refrigerator told me to have a great day.” —Phoebe Buffay

46. Monica: “Do you have a plan?”
Phoebe: “I don’t even have a ‘pla.'”

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47. “Something is wrong with the left phalange.” —Phoebe Buffay

48. “Didn’t you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off, you know, like when you were running toward the swings or running away from Satan?” —Phoebe Buffay

49. “They don’t know that we know they know we know.” —Phoebe Buffay

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50. “Princess Consuela Bananahammock.” —Phoebe Buffay

51. “I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime and their corpses grotesquely dressed in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.” —Phoebe Buffay

52. “Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.” —Phoebe Buffay

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53. “I’m very wise, I know.” —Phoebe Buffay

54. “You love divorce so much, you’re probably gonna marry it — and then it won’t work out, so you’re gonna have to divorce it.” —Phoebe Buffay

55. “See? He’s her lobster!” —Phoebe Buffay

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56. “You should see me when I actually… Oh actually, no, I look good.” —Phoebe Buffay

57. “I think the most romantic song is the one that Elton John wrote for that guy from ‘Who’s the Boss?’… You know, ‘Hold me closer, Tony Danza.’” —Phoebe Buffay

58. “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” —Phoebe Buffay

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59. “I’m a lady, Monica. I don’t kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself.” —Phoebe Buffay

60. “Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you greet us? I will … buy you some Adidas.” —Phoebe Buffay

61. “If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer.” —Phoebe Buffay

62. “Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.” —Phoebe Buffay

Best Rachel Green Quotes

63. “Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?” —Rachel Green 

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64. “Why can’t parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?” — Rachel Green

65. “We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.” —Rachel Green

66. “That’s a great story. Tell it while you’re getting me some iced tea.” —Rachel Green

67. “He’s so pretty, I want to cry.” —Rachel Green

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68. “Oh my God. I’ve become my father. I’ve been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn’t see this coming.” —Rachel Green

69. “How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?” —Rachel Green

70. “It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat?” — Rachel Green

71. “No uterus, no opinion.” —Rachel Green 

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72. “Today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me.” —Rachel Green

73. “Does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?” —Rachel Green

74. “Ross! We broke up two years ago. You’ve been married since then. I think it’s okay that we see other people.” —Rachel Green

75. “Oh I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?” —Rachel Green 

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76. “You know what? I just shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore.” —Rachel Green

77. “I’m gonna go get one of those job things.” —Rachel Green

78. “Isn’t this exciting! I earned this! I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally… not worth it. Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money?” —Rachel Green

79. “I hope it’s still funny when you’re in hell.” —Rachel Green

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80. “Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I’m not drinking on this date tonight: I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’m a Mormon, or I got so hammered last night I’m still a little drunk?” — Rachel Green

81. “Oh, that’s okay, girls tend to not like me.” —Rachel Green

82. “Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?” —Rachel Green

83. “Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait, wait! I said, ‘Maybe.’”

Best Joey Tribbiani Quotes

84. “Food? Oh, give me.” —Joey Tribbiani

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85. “These are just feelings. They’ll go away.” — Joey Tribbiani

86. “Here come the meat sweats.” — Joey Tribbiani

87. “I look a woman up and down and say, ‘How you doin?'” — Joey Tribbiani

88. Joey: “Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens…is that why they’re extinct?”
Ross: “Joey, Homo sapiens are PEOPLE.”
Joey:  “Hey, I’m not judging!”

89. Joey: “If he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point.”
Rachel: “A moo point?”
Joey: “Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”

90. “Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.” — Joey Tribbiani

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91. “Over the line? You’re so far past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!” — Joey Tribbiani

92. “You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?” — Joey Tribbiani

93. “You don’t own a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?” —Joey Tribbiani

94. “I like it. What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good.” — Joey Tribbiani

95. “Okay. So I’m out four thousand dollars and nobody’s boobs are getting any bigger?” —Joey Tribbiani

96. “Look at me! I’m Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?” — Joey Tribbiani

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97. “That’s right, I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!” — Joey Tribbiani

98. “How you doin’?” —Joey Tribbiani

99. “Man, I’m starving. What was I thinking at dinner? ‘Do you want soup or salad?’ Both. Always order both.” —Joey Tribbiani

Best Ross Geller Quotes

100. “Ah, humor based on my pain. Ah, ha, ha.” —Ross Geller 

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101. Ross: “My marriage, I think my marriage is kind of over.”
Phoebe: “Why?”
Ross: “Because my wife’s a lesbian… And I’m not one.”

102. “Look, it’s the artist formerly known as Chandler.” —Ross Geller

103. “You-you-you… You threw my sandwich away… My sandwich? MY SANDWICH?!!” —Ross Geller

104. “Unagi is a total state of awareness.” —Ross Geller

105. “I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted.” —Ross Geller

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106. Ross: “Rach, you balded my girlfriend!”
Rachel: (About Bonnie’s baldness) “See, she doesn’t look that bad.”
Ross: “You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head!”

107. Ross: “How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?”
Monica: “That was you?”
Ross: “Uh… They were infected. He wouldn’t have made it.”

108. Joey: ”Ross! How much do you weigh?”
​Ross: ”I’d really rather not answer that, right now. I’m still carrying a little holiday weight.”

109. “I grew up in a house with Monica, OK. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t eat.” — Ross Geller

110. “Where have you been?” —Monica Geller
“Emotional hell.” —Ross Geller

Photo: TV Gag

111. Rachel: “Maybe we should take a break.”
Ross: “You’re right. Let’s cool off, get some frozen yogurt.”
Rachel: “No, a break from us.”

112. Ross: “Well, wait a minute, why is she in the title?”
Susan: “It’s my baby too.”
Ross: “Um, excuse me; I don’t remember you making any sperm.”

113. “Y’know what? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in ’99!” —Ross Geller

114. “I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.” — Ross Geller

115. “You and those vegetables have, uh… real thing going, huh?” —Ross Geller

116. “Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.” —Ross Geller

117. “We were on a break!” —Ross Geller

118. “You’re over me? When were you… under me?” —Ross Geller

119. “Brussels sprouts? That’s worse than no food.” —Ross Geller

120. “Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!” —Ross Geller

121. “In Vegas. I was so drunk, I could’ve married Joey.” —Ross Geller

122. “I’m the holiday armadillo!” —Ross Geller

123. “Get off my sister!” —Ross Geller

124. “I hope everyone likes Mexican food because I’m making FAJITAS!” —Ross Geller

125. “A no-sex pact, huh? I seem to have one of those going with every woman in America.” — Ross Geller

Lauren Margolis is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.

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