Infidelity is a huge concern in relationships because it breeds dishonesty, so it’s natural to want to know how to keep a man faithful.
Whether you’ve been cheated on before or just generally want to know how to stop your boyfriend or husband from cheating in a relationship, it’s important to first understand why men cheat on women they love.
Most men don’t cheat because they’re not in love with their wife or girlfriend anymore. Rather, otherwise happily married men say they cheat because they want more variety in their lives or they feel something is missing in an area they believe the woman in their life simply can’t fill.
Some men complain of being bored. Or they say want to feel adored by their partners. Or they want to assert their freedom. Or they’re tired of feeling like a disappointment.
People who cheat may want a partner who places them at the center of their life, and they no longer feel like a top priority in yours.
Sometimes men have cheating behavior tendencies because they are speaking different love languages. And some men say they’re unfaithful because they’re driven by a biological directive to procreate with as many women as possible in order to ensure the survival of the species.
Whatever the reason, men, like women, have an innate need to feel respected and appreciated by their partners.
With these reasons why men cheat in mind, here are 10 things for how to keep a man faithful.
1. Be willing to initiate sex.
Many men see your interest in sex as a measurement of their own desirability. Help your boyfriend or husband feel desired by making sure he knows how badly you want him.
2. Be open to experimentation.
It can be easy to get comfortable, and fear of the unknown may stop you from being open to different sexual experiences. Let your boyfriend or husband know that you’re willing and eager to try new things with you.
I’m not saying you should engage in any kind of sexual activity you find repulsive, but open your mind to the idea of being playful and experiencing new things with the man you love.
3. Don’t be overly accommodating.
Sometimes in a relationship, a woman can become too accommodating. Men get into relationships with a very clear picture of what a lifetime partner looks like and this is often in stark contrast to whom he may have dated casually.
Women work to become the person their partner wants them to be, and in doing so, they lose themselves. Then one day, the man realizes this is what asked for — but he’s no longer sure it’s what he really wants.
Maintain a healthy sense of self in your relationship and be true to who you really are, not who you think he wants you to be.
4. Take care not to become controlling.
Often without realizing it, when we get into relationships, we attempt to control the other person so they’ll do what works best for us.
This means engaging in destructive relationship habits such as complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing or rewarding in order to control.
5. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate him.
Sometimes when women get the guy and get married, they begin to get a false sense of security. Remember, being in a relationship with someone is voluntary. A person can leave at any time.
With the divorce rate in this country, we need to remember how important it is to maintain a positive relationship, not simply acquire one. Understanding each other’s communication styles can help with this.
6. Encourage him to take time for himself.
Some men cheat because they begin to feel hemmed-in by the relationship. Engaging in an affair can provide them the sense of freedom they lose in a relationship.
Allow your man time for himself without you. Don’t try to monopolize all your guy’s time. Be open to time apart for him to spend with friends, pursue hobbies, etc. so he does not feel he has no freedom.
7. Be aware of your emotions.
Whether or not we are aware of it, women are masters at using their emotions to communicate volumes without speaking any words. We communicate anger, rage, sadness, and disappointment that is received by our partners.
Instead of taking that as a cue to do something different, some men begin to look for another partner who idolizes them the way you used to. Don’t forget, your man wants to know he lights you up — not that he is constantly disappointing you.
8. Prioritize your relationship.
Often, when a man cheats, you will find the woman is also having an affair that’s not sexual. It’s more socially appropriate.
This affair takes the form of prioritizing something — anything — over the relationship. This could be a job, children, a sick relative, a charity, or anything that puts her man lower on her totem pole than the first position.
Prioritize your relationship over everything else. This is the relationship you want to last for all your life. Other things will fade away and the relationship will still be there if you tend to it carefully. Find friendship in a relationship that is yours.
Make him feel like a priority in the relationship.
9. Learn his love language.
If you are not familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages”, please read it. It has powerful potential to save marriages.
Learn your man’s love language and speak it to him regularly. He will know he is loved and remain true to you when you are expressing your love in his language which will keep him from cheating.
10. Recognize his relationship patterns.
I don’t know how to combat the biology argument. Some men simply believe it is hard-wired into their genes to have sexual relations with as many women as they can.
If this is your boyfriend or husband’s belief, it probably won’t matter what you do. He’s going to cheat.
Try to recognize men like this early on by asking about their dating history. If this is a pattern, he probably isn’t likely to change just because you love him “best.”
If you’ve read this article and now wonder what his role is in all of this, here’s the thing — I wanted to write an article for women, and so I did.
I encounter more women in pain over their mate’s infidelity than I do men, so this is intended to help you feel a sense of empowerment over the situation.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, don’t point your finger at your partner and break up. Look into the mirror and decide what it is that’s causing the unhappiness.
If you want something different from your man, ask for it.
If he gives you what you want, then great! If he doesn’t, then look inside yourself for the solution.
Accept your man as he is and adjust yourself to be better able to manage your relationship.
If he still violates one of your non-negotiable boundaries, leaving might be your best option to find a successful relationship.
Kim Olver is the author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life. Visit her website to learn more.