The original enchantresses in the legends of King Arthur forced knights to honor them with what was termed “courtly love.” Under the spell-powers of these magical goddesses, brave and fierce warriors learned to be gentlemanly and dutiful, and in return received devotion and sexual attention beyond their wildest dreams.
Soon, even the most powerful of mortal men were defenseless to the seductive powers of enchantresses. Your inner Enchantress is telling you how to make a man addicted to you. She’s there to help.
Now it’s your turn to be a modern enchantress and have men addicted to you.
Therefore, here’s how to make a man addicted to you:
Here are some attraction tips to help you inspire him to be your knight in shining armor and make him willing to do whatever he can to honor you and your relationship.
1. Be like a jellyfish.
Have you ever seen a fluther of jellyfish floating in a fish tank? Maybe even touched one at an aquarium? Their lack of rigid body parts makes them soft and fluid, and their movements look almost sensual. When you are with a man, let the image of a jellyfish make you a more sensual woman.
Focus on softening your face muscles and relaxing your shoulders, hips, thighs (anywhere you carry tension). Even imagine a soft, vulnerable heart purring a tender beat in your chest. This will help you invite more intimate moments with him (a giggle, a whispered secret, a lingering brush of your arm against his, more loose and loungy body language, more emotional response when he flirts).
2. Sit on your hands.
Anytime you feel the compulsion to do something to deepen the connection between you and a man (call him, fill in all the silences in conversation, make plans, cross the room to sit close to him), stop yourself. Instead, just remain still, making no movements toward him or away from him (walling yourself off or playing a game of hard-to-get). Just remain available to receive his advances using the jellyfish image.
3. Be smart with your intelligence.
A lot of smart women try too hard to show men how intelligent they are. These brilliant dames don’t realize that they are coming across as know-it-alls and bitches, or even as insecure. You don’t have to prove anything to a man. If you are smart, he will pick up on this without you having to wrap it in a bow and plop it down in front of him.
Use your intelligence to make him think you are sassy; throw witty banter at him and give him a chance to see how good you are at playing a sexy game of verbal cat-and-mouse.
4. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
If you aren’t a social butterfly and you don’t have a fabulous life filled with champagne, fancy stilettoes, and glamorous charity balls, then don’t tell him you do to make him excited to be part of your life. If you actually spend your Friday nights eating ice cream out of the cartoon while you watch reruns of “Roseanne” or play video games and pet your cats, then be honest!
Don’t apologize for who you are and don’t entice him with glitzy fibs. I’m sure you can come up with a fantastically funny and interesting way to make your life seem intriguing, no matter how many cats you have.
5. Risk losing him to your personal boundaries.
When we love a man, a panic comes over us when he pulls back in the slightest way. Worrying that you might lose him can make you break a personal boundary. You start begging him to stay with you, you sleep with him too soon, you accept morsels from him when you know you deserve the whole pie.
Suddenly, your self-confidence starts to melt away. Make a list of your personal boundaries and make a promise to yourself that you will never break one for the love of a man. Wear a bracelet around your wrist if you need to, as a symbol of this pact you make with yourself.
6. Don’t reward him for bad behavior.
When a man is acting less-than-chivalrous, we feel like he might be drifting. The gap feels horrible, so we try to reel him back in with love and attention. However, if a man acts like a jerk with you and you call him to talk about it, apologize profusely to make him feel comfortable coming back, or basically break your back in any way to show him how much you miss him and love him and need him, you are indirectly telling him that he will get more attention and affection from you when he acts poorly.
Shower him with love only when he deserves it and be strong enough to refrain from doing so in the bad times. Don’t be a nag or a dramaqueen , either, because negative attention is still more exciting and rewarding than no attention.
7. Be a sexter.
I don’t care if you’ve been married for years or are still honeymooning — find ways to use technology to add flare to your relationship. If text messages existed in the Dark Ages, what do you think enchantresses would have texted to the men of the Round Table?
Certainly not “How’s your day been, kind sir? Dinner’s in the springhouse.”
Be creative and clever with your words. Call or text him and make him think about your female magnetism when he isn’t around.
8. Keep things spicy outside of your relationship.
When you pick up a new hobby or passion, you create excitement in your life. You set off a firecracker in the middle of your dull routine if you spend more time on that passion, and this is something he’ll notice. He will probably even get jealous that he has lost some of your attention to this new passion, and suddenly he’ll start acting like he’s in competition for your favor. Men do love a healthy challenge.
9. Have a hint of vanity.
Enchanting men starts with your ability to bask in male attention. If you can fall in love with yourself a little bit, he will find you so much more attractive. He will see that you enjoy attention and are up for a game of seduction. Men love a gal who is into the art of mental foreplay.
So how do you do this? You make your best feature pop on date nights. Do you love your eyes? Your tush? Your supple breasts? Fall in love with yourself by concentrating on your favorite body part, and then every time he gives you sexual attention, tell yourself that he is turned on by that part of you.
10. Stop being mysterious.
I roll my eyes when I read relationship advice suggesting women should refrain from revealing themselves to a man in order to create mystery. Of course, I don’t want you dumping all your emotional baggage onto a man, treating him like a priest in a confessional booth; however, the real mystery of a woman is revealed when she opens up.
When you can sit with a man and expose beautiful, touching memories from your childhood or naughty secret pleasures you may have, suddenly he is watching this vulnerable, multi-faceted goddess-woman coming to life in front of him, and he is hooked and wants to make you feel special.
A modern enchantress effortlessly lures men in by being true to herself and her feminine side. If you follow these tips, you are on the path to courtly love with your knight.
If you like this article’s advice, take a look at my new instant-download e-book for women, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. Its pages offer my 27 “enchantress secrets” to magnetize men, effortlessly. It’s a fun and empowering read, leaving you feeling like even a contemporary, cosmopolitan Sir Lancelot is no match for your feminine wiles.
Kristina Marchant is a writer and author with a BA in psychology from Barnard College at Columbia University. She is also a relationship coach who advises women on men and healthy relationship skills.