Have you had a lackluster evening with a blind date?
A boring conversation with a friend of a friend? Well, consider yourself lucky, because your awkward date fails probably don’t come anywhere close to the dating horror stories that were shared on a recent Reddit thread. Seriously, one of the anecdotes ends with a divorce, and another ends with a person covered in vomit.
See for yourself, and thank your lucky stars if you’ve only had mild versions of these disasters, and if you have a story to rival these, then feel comforted in knowing that you’re not alone.
10 Of The Most Horrible, Very Bad Date Stories Of All Time
1. Not Suitable For Children
“When I was younger, I went on a date with this guy I met through a mutual friend. We ended up going to the mall for a bit to kill some time before our movie. While we were walking around, I hear a girl from the floor above us yell his name. He looked up, made this weird face, grabbed my hand, and we ran like hell. I was so confused and I asked him what that was about. While still running, he says to me, ‘That’s the b*tch I fingered!’ I have more stories from the same guy. Like the time he groped me at the movie theater while my little brother was right next to us. We were watching Up.” — Reddit user MelissaMacabre
2. A Dog With Socks On
“The guy… informed me that ‘I shouldn’t have worn heels for him’ because I was walking ‘like a dog that someone had put socks on.'” — Reddit user lindseysometimes
3. They DO Cut You Off at an Open Bar
“I dated a girl in our group of college friends for about three years. It was probably the happiest I had been in a relationship, but it ended on pretty rough terms for the both of us. After a few months of sulking, my friends set me up on a blind date with ‘a girl I’d totally love.’
I was pretty hesitant to do it, but they had paid for this sunset dinner cruise, and I did kind of want to get back in the saddle. Anyway, I should have seen something fishy coming. The evening of the date, my friend was delaying the sh*t out of me, and I literally made it there right as the boat was about to pull away. I headed to the bar where I’m supposed to meet a girl in a red dress. And yes, there at the bar, alone in a red dress, was my ex.
“Needless to say, that date did not go well. The accusations of who set the other up quickly devolved into the kind of cuts and insults that can only be delivered by someone who knows all your faults and insecurities. A two-hour dinner cruise never felt so long, and yes, they do cut you off at the open bar.” — Reddit user ojzoh
4. A Hello, a Hurl, and a Goodbye
“Set up a date with a guy on Match.com. We were meeting for a late lunch. I guess he’d been out partying that morning because he showed up drunk. Walked in, said hi, threw up on me, and walked out.” — Redditer user super_pickle
5. Shirt on Fire
“Probably the guy who lit people on fire and thought it was funny. I met this guy on a paid dating site, and he seemed normal, so I agreed to meet for lunch. At lunch, we are chatting, and he tells me that he’s kind of known as an asshole (red flag one).
He explains that he’s kind of gruff, and this one time, a co-worker says, ‘Does somebody need a hug?’ My date tells the guy that, if he hugs him, he will light his shirt on fire. So the [hug] happens, and he lights the guy’s shirt on fire. He’s laughing hysterically and says he’s done this two other times.” — Reddit user dearsweettea
6. Awkward Movie Selection
“Went to the movies with this guy my friend set me up with — we saw The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Nothing like sitting next to an almost stranger watching anal rape scenes.” — Reddit user AwkwardCoffee
7. His First Beer
“A guy who found me on Facebook asked me out. He asked where I wanted to go, and I asked, ‘Do you have anything against sushi?’ and he said no, so we met at a sushi place. I ordered sushi, and he ordered something else, and when my food came out, he goes, ‘Blech! I hate raw fish!’
OK, so why did you say you were OK with a sushi place? I ordered a Sapporo as well, and he didn’t know what that was, so he got the same. When the beers came out, he goes, ‘Oh… this is a beer? I really don’t like beer.’
“When I get home, I noticed my name was tagged in a Facebook post, and he posted something like, ‘Had a great time with peppereth tonight! I even had my first beer!’ along with a stock photo of a Sapporo. He’s 28 years old.” — Reddit user peppereth
8. Bibles and Lighthouses
“Met my date at a wine bar, thinking we were going to have a regular-person date. Things were going regular until he pulled out his Bible and started reading me all the parts where a woman’s place is in the kitchen, serving men. Then after I said I needed to go home, he walked me outside where he proceeded to take his shirt off to show me his lighthouse tattoos.” — Reddit user 1799wd
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9. Dad Caught Red-Handed
“That would be the time that my date and I went to a movie, and while we’re leaving the movie to head to a coffee shop in my car, she looks out the window and sees her father leaving the same movie with a woman who isn’t her mother . . . while her parents were still married. They ended up getting a divorce.” — Reddit user dottmatrix
10. Swiping Right
“Wasn’t me but a friend: she went on a date with someone she met on Tinder and there was zero chemistry. After the awkward date, he gets up to leave, snaps his fingers at her, and points to her and goes, ‘Thanks for swiping right ;)’ and leaves.” — Reddit user raffadizzle
Hilary White is a former editor for PopSugar.
This article was originally published at Popsugar Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.