My favorite comedians of all time are the ones who can flex on just about ANYTHING they do; whether that’s a stand-up special on Netflix, an amazing TV show, a hilarious Twitter account, or all three, the comedians who know how to do it all hold a very special place in my heart.
Chelsea Peretti, like Tina Fey or Amy Schumer, is DEFINITELY one of those people. Not only does her character on Brooklyn 99 absolutely make the show for me, but her stand-up comedy special on Netflix is pure GOLD.
What I love most about Chelsea is that her humor is situational, instead of just goofy.
Like yes, I also get exhausted after doing one thing, and sometimes I hate everything (and everyone), too.
But more than just her stand-up, Chelsea Peretti excites me because you just know she’s gonna be around for a while, doing more amazing stuff in comedy.
Plus, her husband Jordan Peele’s show Key and Peele is by far one of my favorites — and one of the funniest –— shows, so can you blame me for being in love with her?!
It’s SO hard to find the best of the best when it comes to her comedy, but read on for some of Chelsea Peretti’s funniest quotes, and definitely check out her special on Netflix, One of the Greats … you know you want to!
If you’re searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) … look no further! From the sweetest love quotes, inspirational sayings, and hilarious friendship truths, we’ve got you covered.
“If you text ‘I love you’ and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.” — Chelsea Peretti
“It hurts all the more when a Prius cuts you off because it’s like wow, you love the earth, but you don’t like humans.” — Chelsea Peretti
“I just want to feel what it feels like to have male confidence. My fantasy of what it’s like to be a guy is you wake up in the morning, and your eyes open, and you’re like “I’m awesome! People probably want to hear what I have to say!” — Chelsea Peretti
“I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.” — Chelsea Peretti
“My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don’t really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she’s been really helpful.” — Chelsea Peretti
“I don’t like eating bananas in public. That’s so stressful if you’re a girl. It’s so annoying because it’s just a portable, good snack, but if you’re a girl and you want to eat a banana, all of a sudden you’re in the position of like, how do I de-dick this delicious treat?” — Chelsea Peretti
“If these walls could talk they’d be like, “damn bitch, you’re back in bed again?” — Chelsea Peretti
“Even if I am physically going to your thing, mentally I am unable to attend.” — Chelsea Peretti
“Do you ever do one chore and then celebrate that for ten years?” — Chelsea Peretti
“One thing that really irritates me is a thousand things.” — Chelsea Peretti